Insane

Chapter 6: Opening Up

"What do we do when we get angry guys? We what?" Everyone groaned as they answered together back at Miss Posen. "We breathe and release." Miss Posen smiled brightly at them. "That's very good! Well that's the end of our group session, everyone did a great job. Go ahead and get some lunch, you guys deserve it." Everyone hummed in excitement as they got up quickly to head to the cafeteria. Aubrey got up as well almost exiting the small room but stopped to see Beca still sitting in her chair. Aubrey frowned slightly as she walked over to Beca cautiously, who was currently staring at the wall in front of her blankly. "Beca? Are you okay? It's lunchtime, aren't you hungry?" Beca didn't answer her as she continued to stare at nothing in particular. Aubrey sighed lowly as she sat down next to Beca. "Are your sessions with Miss Beale going okay? I know she-" Beca wasn't even listening to Miss Posen until she mentioned Miss Beale. "quite the doctor and I think if you just give her a chance, then maybe you can get out of here before your birthday. Wouldn't that be nice? To see your parents again?" Her parents? Those people weren't her parents, no matter how hard they tried. They never would be. Beca would snap their necks in two if she was given the chance. I mean they sent her here without even trying to understand why she did what she did. Even though she can't remember what she did, but it couldn't have been that bad. Beca closed her eyes tightly as she felt herself starting to get upset. Usually when Miss Posen would say something to her she wouldn't feel anything, but now she's feeling again? She doesn't want to feel anything, why is this happening to her?! Beca growled angrily as she stood up quickly, making the plastic chair fall down loudly behind her. Aubrey flinched at the noise as she too got up quickly. "Beca what's wrong? Are you-" Beca didn't want to hurt Miss Posen so she quickly ran out of the room, shoving Miss Posen out of her way harshly. The one thing she didn't want was to be locked up in confinement again and hear that dreaded voice she tried to block out so many times. Beca kept repeating a mantra inside of her brain, trying to keep her cool as she walked down the hallway to her own room. She then stopped walking a she realized something. She can't be by herself, not with how angry she is right now. She will definitely black out and do something horrible to the first person she comes into contact with. Before she even decided what to do her feet started to move on it's own heading towards Miss Beale's wing of the hospital. Beca quickly knocked on her office door, feeling her hands start to sweat. Is she having another panic attack? She couldn't tell, but it was getting harder to breathe again.

Chloe was currently sat at her desk as she heard the loud impatient knocks coming from her door, making her jump at the noise. Chloe quickly got up to open her office door, seeing a hyperventilating Beca on the other side. "Beca? Are you-?" Beca shoved past her roughly as she sat down immediately on Chloe's two seater couch. Chloe closed her door quickly as she sat down next to a wide eyed Beca. "Hey you're okay, just breathe slowly. Can you tell me what happened?" Beca shook her head swiftly as she grabbed the arm rest of the couch in a firm grip. Beca's breathing wasn't slowing down any time soon on her own, so Chloe did the only thing she could think of. Beca's eyes widened as Chloe engulfed her in a side hug, making her body stiffen for a moment. Chloe then put her hand on top of Beca's that was currently gripped on the arm rest. "I want you to concentrate on your breathing okay? Can you do that for me Beca?" Beca nodded as she tried to breathe in and out slowly like Chloe suggested. Chloe smiled as Beca seemed to start to control her breathing with every passing moment. "There you go...keep going, you can do it. I'll be right here as long as you need me to be okay?" Beca nodded once more as she listened to Chloe's soothing voice and nothing else. Chloe smiled as she continued to talk to Beca until eventually her breathing became normal again after a few minutes. Beca released a sigh of relief as she felt really exhausted all of a sudden. Chloe noticed as Beca slouched in her arms, leaning against her shoulder completely spent. "It's normal to be exhausted after having a panic attack so don't worry. You can stay here as long as you like." Beca nodded slowly as she leaned into Chloe's side hug in comfort. Beca hasn't been held like this in a long time and it felt really good. She somehow felt safe in Chloe's arms and she didn't know why. "You know when I was a kid I used to love collecting sea shells from the beach." Chloe then started to rub Beca's back in soothing circles making Beca lean even more into her with a low hum of enjoyment. Chloe smiled softly at Beca's cute hum as she laid back against the couch, making Beca's body follow her. Chloe was surprised as Beca suddenly wrapped her arms around her waist tightly and put her face inbetween her neck with her eyes closed. "My dad told me once that mermaids made them just for me to collect them. That made me want to collect them even more, which made my mom a bit upset because I hid them everywhere in the house." Beca laid there on top of Chloe just listening to her talk about her childhood for awhile. Mostly listening and mostly trying to figure out why Chloe was holding her in the first place. Her old therapist wouldn't even dare to hug her let alone try to comfort her in any way shape or form. He would always just try and throw medications at her, making her a walking zombie. Chloe is different, Chloe hasn't even spoken to her about any medications, nor has she tried to figure out what's wrong with her. She just wanted to talk to her...to know who she is. Which was a confusing topic for Beca because she doesn't know who she is at all. I mean she has an idea of who she used to be, but by now it's scattered into pieces. Also she really doesn't want to put those pieces together and find out who she really is. What if she's someone who can't be fixed? What if she's someone who hurts people on purpose and feels no remorse. At least that's what everyone in here tells her she is. Is that who she wants to be? "You still with me Beca?" Chloe calling her name brought her back to reality, making her release Chloe's waist, sitting up slowly. Chloe watched as Beca looked at her, I mean she really looked at her. It was like Beca was trying to study her, without even really meaning too. Beca's eyes then reached Chloe's own and Chloe could have gasped at seeing how Beca's eyes were a beautiful dark shade of blue. "I collected CD's." Chloe's eyes widened comically at hearing Beca speak to her. Chloe sat up quickly, smiling widely as she stuttered out another question in excitement. "Wh-What kind of CD's?" Beca licked her lips nervously as she looked away from Chloe's bright blue eyes. "Music." Chloe smiled as she saw Beca blush when she revealed her answer. "I like music too, maybe I can bring you one of my favorite CD's sometime. Would that be ok?" Beca looked back at her and smiled slightly. "Yes."

Author's note: I like how this story is going.