To The End With You

C h a p t e r T h i r t y- S e v e n

Photo: Grand Duchess Olga and Maria with Marie of Romania 1914 in Romania

June 1914
Our ship was about to dock and all of us got called in to change clothing. Olga got helped getting dressed because she had to look absolutely the best. I think she was already pretty but she needed to make a graceful impression said Lili. Olga was put to a seperate room to change while Tatiana and I changed in our room and the little pair in their room. Tatiana helped me and we were both doing our hair and putting on perfume I didn't have any so Tatiana let me use hers. While she sprayed me with it, I looked at the bottle, "Jasmin De Corse" by Coty. "Do you fancy the smell? I just simply adore it!" Tanya asked me.

"The scent is very strong," I managed to say as some perfume was sprayed in my mouth accidently. "Oh my! I am so sorry!" Tatiana's eyes widened as she realized what she has done. "It's okay," I muttered with a scrunched up face. Let me just say that the perfume smelt better than it tasted "I think we have enough of the perfume." I said, taking my handkerchief, trying to get the taste out. Anastasia barged in without knocking and she sat down on one of the beds, actually she sat on Tatiana's. "Nastya! I just made my bed!"

Anastasia just rolled her eyes, "My feet are killing me!" Tatiana just ignored her and focused on Maria. She looked so beautiful in her dress. The small pair had on matching dresses while Tatiana and I matched in ours."You look wonderful! All of you! I can't wait to see the Queen of Romania again!" Tatiana exclaimed. "She didn't really seem to like us last time"Anastasia commented. "Tatiana can make any Queen like her, she is the most level headed out of all of us"Maria commented.

"Don't worry Tatiana, she will likely adore you the most out of all of us."Maria assured Tatiana. Tatiana smiled at the comment before she froze realizing as if she forgot something. "I'll be right back," and she quickly left the room without a word. "Where did she go?"I asked as the door shut. "I don't know, Mama probably"Anastasia replied playing with a strand of her hair.

"Quit it Nastya, you are going to mess up your hair and we have to look especially presentable today!"Maria remarked. "At least my cheeks aren't as chubby as a squirrel's"Anastasia commented. Maria stayed quite afterwards while Anastasia laughed at her own joke. "Stop being so rude Anastasia or else you will be the one that ends up staying here, far away from home, from Russia, and end up being Prince Carol's wife and kissing his stinky feet everyday," I explained. I couldn't stand the way she commented about Maria. Mashka was already very skinny and pretty, she didn't have to change her weight.

Nastya looked at me in disgust, "Mama and Papa would not let them keep me! I am too young! And why must his feet stink so bad?!" Maria giggled and I laughed as I spoke, "There is a lot of examples of large age gaps in the past, and it wouldn't be hard to convince Papa and Mama, especially if Tatiana speaks about it with them. He also probably doesn't wash them well"

Anastasia made a disgusted face and didn't say anything afterwards. Maria smiled at me as a thank you. "Marie do you want to sit down? You can sit on my bed if you want."I offered. Her smile quickly dissolved as she looked over at the middle bed. She started to frown actually. The scene of her protest replayed in my head, she didn't want me in the big pair. She wanted me to stay with her.

Maria slowly walked over to my bed and sat down looking over at its spot, "You should have stayed"she said quietly. "I couldn't" I muttered. "I know but I wish you stayed"

Before our conversation could go on any longer Tatiana entered the room again, "Mama needs to speak with you Valentina"she stated. Tatiana was not in her relaxed and joking manner, she was serious and looked very tense. The small pair looked at me then her as I got up and Tatiana walked me over to Mama's study. Tatiana knocked on the closed double doors until we heard a faint "Come in" and we entered. Mama sat in her chair all dressed up in fancy clothing. Papa stood behind her with his hand in her shoulder. There was a chair that sat across from them, empty. She looked up at me and I knew that I was supposed to sit there.

I walked over and sat across from her. "Hello Mama" I said quietly. "Hello Vanya"Mama said back in the same tone. "Why did you need to talk to me?"I asked the. I looked her in the eyes and her facial expression seemed gloom and regretful. I looked at Papa but he just looked away.

"As you know already, No one knows you are our daughter." When that sentence started everyone in the room tensed up, including me. "You can not refer to us as Mama and Papa in public. You must call us Auntie and Uncle. You can't call yourself Valentina Nikolaevna" Mama continued. I sat in my chair confused and looked at both of them, "Why must I call you Auntie and Uncle?"

Mama looked up at Papa. He knew that it was his turn to speak, "When you were born, we were happy that you were a healthy baby. But disappointed that you were a girl. We loved you then and now no matter what, but we worried. We thought about Russia's reaction and what would happen in the future when your Mama would be pregnant again, so no one new that you were born our daughter." The Tsar paused but didn't look at me. I had tears in my eyes, how must have the old Valentina felt if she heard the news?

Mama looked at me and took my hand and held it, "You must understand Valentina that we would have never done it unless we were certain that a boy would be born. We had to do it for Maria and Anastasia. We had to do it for our family."

I kept my head down not reacting and the Tsar continued. "At the time Uncle Sergei was alive and married to your Aunt Ella. We spoke to them and agreed that they would claim you. So we announced to the public that your were born as their daughter. When your Uncle was killed your Aunt would become a Nun and publicly announced that we would get to keep you under our care. We were the happiest people in the world because we didn't get to see you often since publicly you were Ella's daughter and you stayed at their palace. It all worked out in the end."

I sat quietly, processing the information and wondered how the real Valentina Nikolaevna would feel about this? I only know the family since 1912 but she knew them since birth. She would have taken this news harder. "I understand Papa"I muttered. I stood up from my chair and looked at Mama, she had tears in her eyes and her face full of sorrow. I looked at Papa's face and it all contained sadness. I turned to look at Tatiana that stood near the doors. I walked towards her and she quickly opened the door for me and we left the room.

We walked in silence back to our room. "Did you know this before me as well?"I asked her. Tatiana stayed quiet but nodded her head yes. I sighed as we walked back to our room.