Resisting The Guy I Love

Giving up my happiness for him

Sorry for the very late update btw guys check out the book forever yours by beautifuldreams it's amazing I love it so check it out you'd probably love it too Go team Hunter! ;) 

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The day passed by awkwardly. Mathew never got out of his room and when I called him for lunch he said he was full. I didn't get the reason for his sudden change of mood. I wonder if it was my fault because of what happened earlier that day before I made lunch.

My stomach was doing back flips when he was coming closer to me and I wanted to kiss him so badly but I couldn't. I can't let him kiss me. He already has a girl waiting out there that his mother wants him to be with. Yes i'll admit it. Tiffany has a great body. She may be the cheer leading captain, my enemy and the slut of the school but she still actually has a good body. Why wouldn't Mathew want her? Every boy would rather go with the slut and screw her brains out then go with the unpopular nerd that still hasn't had her first kiss. And anyway even if me and Mathew ended up together I think his mother would be furious. Mary for one thing doesn't like me and sees me as a slave and nothing else. And if her 'slave' ends up with her son I have no idea what she would do. Maybe she'd first force us to break up then kick me out of the house and find a new orphan from the orphanage to come and clean her house. Who knows she'd probably get an old woman from the street so her son would not to be attracted to a slave.

Or she might get another girl aged 10. The age that I was when I first arrived here. But if she did kick me out I don't know where I'd go. I'm 18 now so I can't go back to the orphanage and even if I worked I still wouldn't have enough money to live in a small house with food. My only hope now is finishing school and getting a good degree so I can become what I've always wanted to be. A surgeon. Well I've actually always wanted to be an actor but my father convinced me onto being one. My father also always wanted me to be a surgeon and I don't want to let him down. Because of him I have put down my dreams just to listen to him. Yes it may sound disgusting but I have a strong stomach. I noticed that before I arrived to Mary's house.

"Flashback" 

I was sitting down on the couch watching tv when suddenly I heard screaming. My dad who was sitting next to me on the couch rose from the couch and went to the door. I studied his face and saw that he looked a bit like he was scared. He left the house and ran running. My curiosity wanted to know what's happening so I jumped up from the couch and went to the door. I could still see my father was running but I could now see another man running in front of him. My father was chasing a man with black all over himself. Although it was dark I could still see him. I had really good eye sight and could see that he was also wearing a black beanie covering his hair. I didn't want to be left alone at the house so I also ran after my dad I didn't know where my father was going to go chasing after that man but I still didn't want to be alone. I stumbled over something and fell on the concrete. My hands that were covering my face stung but I still got up and held back the tears that wanted to go out of my eyes. I looked down to what made me fall and it looked like a body. A bloodied body. I looked at the body and noticed it was a male. I kept staring and staring noticing that he had been stabbed on his stomach really badly. I looked at the mans chest. He wasn't moving. He didn't look like he was breathing so he's probably dead. Dead by some man covered in black. I sat down on the floor and the tears that I've been holding fell out. I sobbed for a few minutes and then noticed some lady that lives around my house come out of her house. As soon as she saw me crying she ran to me. "What happened?" The lady asked. I couldn't stop crying and couldn't talk so I pointed to the dead man lying down in front of me. How she didn't notice him earlier I don't know but as soon as the woman sitting next to me noticed the dead man she stood up and vomited. She vomited for a few more seconds then stopped. Wiping her hand on her sleeve she then picked me up and took me to her house.

(Flashback finished)

Ever since that day I started to agree to watch a doctor show on TV with my dad. He was obviously proud that I'd finally slightly agreed to me being a surgeon. I used to watch it and try to figure out why the lady vomited when she saw the dead man on the floor.

It was when I grew up that i learnt that i had a strong stomach that could handle not vomiting when seeing blood. And also by watching the doctor shows I wanted to more and more become a surgeon.

I can't wait for this Monday because my exams start on that day. I know it's a bit freaky because i want my exams to start but I was confident. I study really hard and I'm first out of every other person in my school. My grade point average is first so that means I am the best student out of every other student in year 12.

By now my dream of acting has been put away to the back of my mind. I still would love to be an actor but my father would always come to my mind and all i want to do is make him proud now that his in jail for most of his life. So now I want to be a surgeon and I always keep repeating in my head if I wanted that job then I have to study hard and although I don't get a lot of time to study. I still give up my sleeping time just to study.

My aim is to get a scholarship and go overseas to study. Because if I didn't get a scholarship but still got a really good grade Mary would disagree in me going over seas. My dream is to go overseas and study to become a surgeon. So I study as much as I can to reach my dream job.  

Another new reason is that if i stay i will be seeing more of Mathew which I don't want, well i do want it but I'm afraid i wont be able to refrain myself from wanting Mathew. If that happens his mother might kick me out and ill be homeless. It's crazy how I'm putting Mary in front of what I want but I can't stand thinking of living homeless. Because that's what probably will happen if I do get kicked out of this house. And because I live in this house then I will obey the rules of the owners.

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I know that was really boring but I needed you guys to know a bit more about Sarah so yeah. Hopefully next chapter will have a bit more fun in it. I have to study for a test on Monday so I'm not sure when my next update will be please wish me luck guys ;) 

Please vote and comment it really motivates me to update the new chapter