Satin on the Slopes

Chapter 14

"You told him about Connor?" Jen gasped, her mouth falling open and her already Bambi like eyes widening. With her reaction you would've thought I had told her I was pregnant while hanging out in a strip club instead of lounging around in her living room and admitting to a couple regrettable words.

"I told Hudson he couldn't say a word about it and it all just kind of slipped out in the car after he showed up to rescue me. It was all accidental and messy, but he didn't bring it up again I'm not sure if he was scared of facing another outburst of if he just didn't care enough to know more. I was the one who brought it up after supper because I needed him to know that he couldn't just go around talking about it," I explained, running a hand down my face. "The last thing that I need is someone like him spreading rumors about Connor and having Connor come back into my life over it."

"And how do you feel with finally having told someone outside of the family about your current situation?" Richard asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Honey," Jen jumped in, patting his arm, "please keep your psychology degree for your patients. My sister just wants to vent, not be assessed."

"It made me very anxious after I became less emotional," I answered, meeting Richard's eyes evenly. Sure, Jen was partly right. I just wanted to talk to my sister until I felt better, but maybe having some professional guidance wouldn't be a bad idea either. Richard had been so wonderful through all of this. "I'm worried that he will go to the tabloids or journalists and spill everything and that overrode any kind of cleansing feeling that could have come with it."

With me blatantly ignoring her and her husband half treating me Jen let out a huff and went to the kitchen.

"Why does that worry you?" Richard pushed.

"Because that would be the undoing of our agreement. Connor would stay out of my life and give me the apartment if I stayed away from the lawyers and tabloids. He can't risk having a bad reputation with his whole career ahead of him."

"I'm not telling you that your anxiety is invalid, but I am worried because you are upholding your end of the deal despite the fact that he is obviously not doing his part. You're worried about his reputation when he pulled yours through the mud and that's only the beginning. He's been to your apartment a few times since the break up and all of them have been uninvited. He also tried to take advantage of you while you were drunk. You could press charges over something like that, yet you're worried about trusting a third party with your secret."

"Trust doesn't come easy anymore," I admitted, staring down at my hands. "And if this is what he's doing now I can't imagine what would happen if I did something to provoke him."

"Richard, please leave my sister alone," Jen said, coming back into the living room with two steaming mugs in her grasp.

"Penelope, you don't have to go around revealing all of Connor's secret, but I don't want you to worry about not respecting his boundaries if he plows through yours. Relationships are always give and take. You've been doing all the giving while he has been shamelessly taking. You don't have to reveal his secrets to the whole world, but you do have to take care of yourself."

"Thanks, Richard," I murmured. I blinked away the tears that had settled at the base of my eyes and reached for the mug. I already knew what would be inside. Hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle, just the way I like it. Jen always knew what I needed.

"I'm going to leave you two alone before Jen decides that she's had enough for my doctor talk, but I'm always here for you," he said, standing up and straightening his slacks.

"I appreciate it," I murmured.

Jen stayed quiet as Richard departed, glaring at the back of his head while he went.

"I'm sorry, I know that he can be a lot," she murmured, sipping at the whipped cream.

"I actually don't mind it. it's pretty nice to have free therapy every now and then. What Connor put me through will never be an easy situation to handle, but having a therapist at hand helped a fair amount. You're probably sick of it because you're married to him, but it's good for me. And having you to be a sister with no therapy talk is also very good for me."

Jen took a sip of her hot chocolate, smiling a little bit. "So how is your car?"

"It needs an alignment but will be fine otherwise which is pretty lucky." And it was, one more second and I couldn't been in incoming or I could've hit the ditch awkwardly, flipping the car on its side. Even something as simple as triggering the airbag could be quite costly.

"And how are you and Hudson?"

I choked on the hot chocolate in my throat. Damn Jen and her need to find me a man. "There is no me and Hudson."

"Come on, he let you shower in his bathroom, wear his clothes, and sleep in his bed. He's a smoke show too."

"And he has a dog," I added, feeling a cheeky grin tug at the corner of my lips.

"Exactly, why not go for it?"

"Connor destroyed my life," I snapped. "Connor isn't like Richard. Connor wasn't a rational, kind man who respected me for everything that I was on my own, okay? I'm not giving another man an opportunity to set me back. This is my first job that could be long term payment for me. I can't fuck it up by thinking that Hudson and I can be together, even just for one night."

"So you aren't attracted to him?"

"Jesus, Jen, are you even listening to me?"

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just been so long since I've seen you happy. That's all I want for you and I was hoping that Hudson might be the way to get you back on track."

"I miss being happy too. But Hudson is definitely not the way to get there. My happiness needs to come from me this time."

~~~Question of the day~~~

What is your favorite thing about yourself?