Chasing Joy: And all things that Matter

Chapter Six: Make-up

I decided to take a personal day the next day from work. It was a Monday, and I had already finished all my work from the weekend-completely drowning myself in tasks until I couldn't think about what a fool I made of myself on Friday night. A long bath and a few pints of ice cream later I somewhat felt like the old Joy. The one thing pushing me forward on Tuesday morning was the idea that I would never see him again. I made it this far in the company before without acknowledging his existence- so I would be okay. I put on a little make-up; just to ensure I felt extra good about myself. I always liked wearing make-up. It was a person's way of showing the world that they were flawless; without revealing what was really happening on the inside. The great thing about not sleeping well these past few days is that I woke up early enough to straighten my hair and iron my new blouse. Lipstick completed my look and I grabbed my coffee cup and walked to the subway. I knew right away there was something different the moment I swiped my key card on the main floor of our work building. There was an abnormal amount of people in the elevator when I got up. I immediately check my email on my phone. I reached down into my bag looking to see if I had missed a meeting. I began to walk out the elevator still attempting to locate my phone. Why is it that when you need your phone you can't find it?! Walking through the crew of people I immediately hit someone hard in the chest. Spilling my coffee all over my fresh blouse.

Looking up to immediately apologize but as soon as my mouth opens my eyes connect to someone's eyes like a pool of brown. My mouth still open he bends down immediately to pick up my things, tucking some hair behind his hair nervously.

All happening in .5 seconds.

Then he speaks. My brain, my mouth, my thoughts, my regret all coming together all at once when I immediately realize who this is. Just like a scene out of a goddamn movie. It can't fucking be. Please God, let me die right here and right now.

"Joy"?! "Is that you?" Jonah says.

Earlier that same morning...

Running my hands in my hair- I looked ragged. I had the worst weekend. No sleep and I was off all my social media, just trying to figure out and replay Friday night in my mind on how much I really screwed that up. Really Jonah?! Get a grip! I couldn't get attached to anyone in that way. We just met, and I was just really confused on why she left and why I couldn't get her off my mind. Not the Jonah my friends are used to. I just decided to keep this loss close to the chest. I even took Monday off to get my head in the game. I decided to go extra early to my workout run and boxing class (Thanks no sleep) and make my favorite cup of coffee. I began to open the paper and read my favorite sections. I took extra care in my appearance today. Picking out a nice grey sweater (matched my mood perfectly) and trimmed my beard up a bit. Ugh. Why did I even try? I am not going to see her again. I don't even know what department she works in! And she left so that's on her not me. Despite my high-level degrees, I can't figure out how to use my own system. I have so many departments in that one building alone.

Then it hit me...this is my company and I literally can pay people to do the research for me. I checked my email and realized I had my department head annual meeting today, which requires me to see a lot more than my usual associates in one sitting. I pressed accept to add the meeting to my calendar reminders. Then a thought came across my mind: What if Joy was a department head? She was definitely ambitious enough for the position and that would make sense on why I hadn't seen her regularly. I looked in the mirror and ran a brush through my hair a little more thoroughly. I suppressed a smile and reasoned in my head this wasn't the kind of meeting that was going to be some glass slipper attempt to see Joy again.

I got in my taxi and rode to work and for some reason couldn't shake the restlessness that I had no idea where it stemmed from.I took the elevator up to our meeting floor. It was nice. I basked in the idea that still up to this moment no one had recognized me. My thoughts were immediately interrupted when I felt someone hit my back hard. The moment I turned around I naturally bent down to help whoever had fallen.

Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine seeing Joy on the floor in front of me covered in coffee. It was like nothing before this moment mattered. I let go of a breath that I didn't realize I was holding in. She must have felt as shocked as me. When I went to reach for her hand the moment our hands touched I wish I could have touched her more on our fake date. I just wanted to make up with her; any way and whatever way I could. I needed a second chance but in .5 seconds the only words that could leave my mouth was the same very name I couldn't stop saying all weekend.

"Joy?!" "Is that you?"