Forgetting The Bad Boy

Chapter Thirty One

"I've had time to think and now I'm confident in how I feel. Now I really don't know how to say this to you Niko.." she starts tearing up, I could practically feel my heart disintegrating in my chest. "But I can't lie anymore, I can't pretend and I can't try and mask the pain from all the lies."

I didn't know if I could hear anymore, the guilt was swallowing me whole and I felt disgusted in my own skin.

Demons crawled around me as the guilt played with my mind, I couldn't believe I let myself do something this terrible that hurt her this badly.

She was a sobbing mess in front of me right now, almost sobbing the way she was that night.

I never wanted to be another person to make her hurt that way.

"We—" She sniffles. "We can't be together Niko. It's not right, and I love you so, so much it's just that-"

God I can't take this anymore.

"Bella." I wine as I feel tears pooling in my eyes.

"You don't need to explain, I know okay. And I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say really because nothing can change it, nothing can make it forgivable." The tears make their way down my cheeks.

"You're the love of my life and I've been so stupid not to have realized it all this time. I never planned on hurting you, I never ever want to hurt you and I did, I hurt you bad and I don't know why I even did it. I don't see how you could forgive me so I understand." I grab her hands in mine as tears stream down my face.

The one girl who gets me that weak. I was practically a dog begging for her to love me as I stare into her glimmering eyes.

"Wait. Niko, what the fuck are you talking about?" Bella raises her hand up in confusion as her eyebrows ares furrowed, the sobs become silent.

"What do you mean what am I talking about? Aren't we talking about the same thing?" My voice raises as the anxiety hits.

I'm so confused.

"So you're talking about the fact I'm a lesbian right now?" She raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms.

—Huh?

Did she just-

"You're..." I point to her as I narrow my eyes, dragging the word out then pausing.

"You like girls?" My voice shoots high pitched again.

Keep it together fuck.

"See, your face tells me we were definitely not talking about the same thing Niko. What were you going on about?" She pierces my eyes with hers.

Good god she was completely beguiling. I was drawn to her like a half to it's whole.

"I fucked up Bella." I shrug and nod as our eye contact stays constant. "I let my emotions get the best of me one day when Grace was at a low point and I got trapped in how abandoned I felt by you shutting me out again. She was pleading into my eyes the way I wanted you to, and I got sucked into the feeling of it. The feeling of being needed."

"So you slept with her, that's what you're saying?" She asks, her voice remaining unbroken.

I clear my throat and struggle to say the words.

"I did."

"It makes sense Niko." She throws he hands up in surrender and sighs.

Ummmm.... come again?

"What I did to you was fucked up, and this is the second time I've done it too. Last time you didn't have someone who truly treated you good, you just had me. I discovered a lot about myself recently and it's made so many other things add up for me, I wasn't living the truth and I'm so sad to say it because I've loved so many moments of it. Especially you, you're my bestest friend Niko and I thought that was the best it gets. But then I got the chance to truly love you and have you love me and I really did love it, and you, I still do. I hope you can understand that I just know this is who I am and I can't keep locking her away." She finishes, I watch as tears pour out of those big blue eyes, her hand clutching her heart.

The moment I thought I was really gonna hear it from her, I got the last thing I expected. My best friend of god knows how many years, is gay.

I had no idea, I mean neither did she so how could I but- I didn't understand how it could just happen like that.

Especially when we were so in love—before the ghosting of course. But I love her and if she stands up and tells me this is her, then that means I'm going to take her for her and make it through this.

"I love you Bella. I'm always going to love the shit out of you, you're my day one. If it didn't make me the happiest in the world to know you can truly be yourself, then what kinda fucking friend would I be?" I give her the signature smirk. She pushes me back and laughs before latching on to me in a hug.

"I'll always love the shit out of you too Niko, forever." She places her head on my chest.

I bet she could feel how fast my heart beats when she's so close to me. I run my fingers through her hair and stare out the window of her dorm. I feel a tear roll down my cheek, I quickly wipe it off into my shoulder.

Forever Bella.

Now you guys know more about Niko's background and why he did what he did.

Also the news with Bella! Sometimes it's hard to truly discover yourself, and whenever that time comes you shouldn't do anything less but embrace it.

How do you guys think Niko's going to handle this?🤭🥺His true woveee.

Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter in the comments rn!!

Don't forget to vote too lovelies!

I'm just gonna say that updates will be random, since I try to make a date but post beforehand anyways. So just expect consistent updates is all I gotta say!

-Tia