OCD ➳ Larry Stylinson

Chapter Twenty Nine: Final Part One

Louis squeezed my frozen hand gently. "Harry, look at me," he whispered, his voice calm and welcoming. I turned my head towards him.

"Talk to me," he muttered, putting his other hand on my cheek. I suppressed the butterflies in my stomach. His fingers were soft. It took me a moment to gather my words properly.

"I just feel... empty. I can't describe it. I shouldn't feel like this. I should be sad or crying or... I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing Louis, I don't... I don't know," I said to him, choking back the burning of tears in my throat.

"There is no wrong or right way to feel about this, Harry. You should feel however you want. It's... delicate... because of your relationship with her," he responded, picking his words carefully.

I looked into his eyes. The normal bright blue color was fogged by a sad grey. He looked tired, but he still wore a sweet, yet sad, smile. I snuggled into his side, resting my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me, and I listened to his heartbeat

"Everything will be alright," Louis cooed.

I, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. I counted each beat as I stared off into space, wrapped in Louis's warm embrace.

*

Anne passed away that night, at 8:07 PM.

My stepdad left the house, crying and angry. He loved her.

I locked myself in my room, even though the house was empty. I sat on my bed and stared at the wall, feeling absolutely nothing. She was dead. She was dead. She killed herself.

I didn't have a mother.

At some point hot tears began to run down my face. I didn't know why. Louis showed up at some point too, carrying with him a bottle of liquor. I didn't drink it. He rubbed my back while I cried in silence, still feeling empty in an unexplainable way.

"Both of my parents are gone. Both of them," I heard myself say, without meaning to really. It was the first thing I'd said since Louis got here. How long ago was that? It felt like hours. Louis breathed out heavily.

"I'm so sorry Harry," he muttered, pulling me close to him. It was just supposed to be a hug, but I didn't let him let go. I needed comfort, but I didn't understand why.

My mother committed suicide, that's why. Because I should feel sad. I should be angry.

But I was just silently crying, feeling lost and numb.

The night went by in a blur. Louis stayed with me the whole time, constantly hugging and kissing me. He was my anchor. He kept me from sinking. We fell asleep at some point, Louis holding me tightly, shushing me softly in a light voice when I started to cry again.

I woke up in a pile of empty sheets. My room was silent. Streams of light peeked through the black curtains that hung over my window. Louis must have left. I reached over and flicked on the light, 4 times. Louis's jacket was draped over my desk chair. I stood up slowly, stretching. Walking over to the chair, I reached out and took the light hoodie in my hand. I brought it to my nose, inhaling his scent. A smile spread across my face. It was chilly, and I couldn't resist, I pulled on the jacket, suddenly feeling warm and fuzzy. I stuffed my hands in the pockets, and felt Louis's phone. I pulled it out cautiously. Why would Louis leave his phone and jacket here?

Before I had a chance to think it through, the door opened and Louis stepped in, holding two mugs. He lit up when he saw me.

"I thought you left!" I exclaimed, setting his phone on my desk. He trotted over to me, holding out one mug for me.

"Of course not! I just made coffee." He took a sip. The sweet yet bitter smell filled my nose, and I took a large mouthful.

"Mmm, thank you," I said, lifting the mug back to my mouth.

"Did my step dad ever come back?" I asked him.

"No," he replied, sitting on the edge of my bed. I sat next to him.

"Oh."

"How are you feeling today?" he asked. I shrugged lamely. "Alright."

I didn't feel like talking. I still felt bad, in multiple ways. I literally cried myself to sleep, with Louis next to me.

"Uh, what time is it?" I asked, changing the subject. I would check my own phone, but I had no idea where it was, and I didn't really care. I didn't feel like answering the hundreds of texts from Liam and Niall and Zayn and Sophie.

He got up to get his phone from the table. "9:14," he answered. I sighed.

9:00 is waking up time, at 9:15 it's shower time, and at 9:45 I should be brushing my teeth. That's how Sundays always went. That was always the schedule. But I didn't want to. I couldn't get myself to. Instead of getting up, I drained the last bit of coffee from my mug and flopped back on my bed.

"Do you want to do something today?"

I shrugged again, rolling over to my side. I wanted to tell him that honestly, I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to lay on my bed forever. I wanted to disappear for a while.

I felt the bed dip, and Louis's warm fingers on latched onto mine.

"I love it when you wear my clothes, have I ever told you that?" I shook my head, remembering that I had his hoodie on. I couldn't help but smile slightly. I turned around so that I was facing the older.

"I also love it when you smile," he said, reaching over and running his fingers through my curls. I giggled slightly.

"I love your laugh too, it's adorable." He leaned down and kissed my lips gently.

"But most of all, I love you."

*

A/N

I decided to split the last chapter up into 2 parts because... I don't know... I felt like each chapter had a different vibe... so yeah. Prt. 2 will come sometime this week.

Thank you guys for all the support, you guys are amazing. Seriously, I never ever expected to get this much positive feedback. I LOVE YOU ALL!