The Bodyguard // h.s (Hariana)

32// friends?

Harry Styles

"I love you."

The memory of her words plays in my head for the millionth time as I'm driving home in the rain. They drown out everything else.

In the heat of the moment, I said the only words on my mind. Terrible, ruthless words.

"I can't even look at you right now."

Because if I did, I would melt away. I would stay with her even though I'm confused.

A car honks at me, and that's when I realize I had let go of the brake on a red light, almost getting into an accident. I pull over immediately, knowing that I was in no mental space to be on the road. My head rests on the wheel.

Too much damage.

I call Niall, who comes almost instantly upon hearing my shaky voice. He parks in front of my car on the small street then hops into the passenger seat of mine. I tell him the whole story. For the first time since I've met Niall, he doesn't interrupt me midway.

"Wow. So it's.. It's really over between you two?"

"Is one mistake really going to be the end of us?" She had a look on her face like she was ready. Ready for me to hurt her, but praying that I wouldn't.

"Yeah. It's over." As I say it out loud, my tears become uncontrollable. A few slip down my face. "It was the hardest thing in the world to do, you know? To walk away. But it's not fair to either of us to be together right now."

"I get it. And it'll be hard to adjust. But you two care a lot about each other. I'm sure Ariana still wants you in her life, even if just as a friend?" Friend. I think Ariana and I have been through too much to just be friends. But maybe, maybe that's all we can be.

---

One week later...

I'm lucky that I have no work today after a whole week of over-working myself. I decide to get over my break up by doing errands, working-out, and just doing whatever it takes to get my mind off her. Sadly, it's like the universe is against me.

As I'm walking down the aisles of the supermarket, I see a photo of her in the magazine. While I'm driving down the streets, her company's billboard is on display. Even as I'm working out at the gym, her partnership with Chase Torian is announced on the television.

I scratch my neck, unsure of where I could go to just stop thinking.

Without any plans, I decide to just sprawl on the couch and catch up on trashy television. It's a strange feeling, to be broken up with someone, but know that they still have a part of you. It's like one minute I'm watching the show, and the next minute I'm thinking of Ariana in my arms in her home as we streamed Friends.

God, I'm going to go out of my mind.

I stare at the white walls of my home but all I see is red. Red, hot, anger.

At no one but myself.

"I'm unfinished." There's something about me that's twisted, and broken. I thought I was better, and maybe I am; but I'm not complete.

I walk to the fridge, contemplating on my drink choices. Juice, water, and alcohol. Am I really going to drink my sorrows away? I sigh, grabbing the beer can. Why the hell not?

Just as crack open the seal, hearing the satisfying hiss of the beverage, I'm interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. It's her. I gulp at the picture of us kissing as my photo for her.