We Will Shine {Book 6 in the Star of Gryffindor Series}

Chapter 46 - A Change in Tone

~Wren~

I shouldn't have yelled at her. I know I shouldn't have gotten mad at Astra. What she said wasn't even that bad. She called me a coward. That's it. Why did that make me snap?

As soon as I walked away, I felt horrible. I didn't turn around and apologize, though, because... I don't know. I didn't want to get yelled at. Not good enough. Here I was, going on about Astra being selfish as if I wasn't a hundred times more so.

I had been planning on talking to her as soon as possible the next morning, to apologize. Ask forgiveness. I wasn't expecting her to wake me up in the middle of the night in tears, telling she was sorry and a horrible friend.

She fell asleep quickly, but I found I couldn't. It wasn't even her dream that was keeping me up, though that was kind of terrifying. I didn't like it when she dreamed about me, and this one seemed worse than normal.

That wasn't what was standing between me and sleep, though. Everything I'd said to her, every time I'd avoided her, every instance of me not being the caring and supportive friend she badly needed kept playing through my mind. And here she was, acting as if it was her fault, as if I had any excuse for blowing up at her when she was falling apart. As if it wasn't incredible that she was doing as well as she was right now. If the roles had been reversed, I would have gone crazy long ago. And I was the one calling her selfish, telling her to grow up, telling her she needed to start being a good friend. What was wrong with me?

I don't know if I ever drifted off or not. If I did, it was only wake up often enough to nearly watch the room become a hazy gray instead of black. I eventually got up, pulled a cardigan on, and sat on the window seat by my bed. In the early morning light, I could barely make out the shapes of the books scattered around the floor, but I could see where the grounds ended and the forest began. I couldn't see the sunrise, but I could watch the darkness slowly recede, the stars twinkle out, the light begin to paint the gray world outside in color. The serenity of it all, as the birds began to chirp and I could hear my roommates sleeping peacefully, should have been enough to calm my thoughts, but it wasn't.

"Wren?"

I started, then turned my head to see Astra sitting up, yawning and blinking sleepily at me. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Kind of. We can talk about it later," I whispered, feigning a smile. It was hardly seven a.m. on a Sunday, and Astra probably hadn't slept well until after her nightmare. Besides, I didn't want to overload her with all of this when she'd just woken up.

But Astra tilted her head, seeming more alert now. She pushed the blankets away and swung her legs over the side of the bed, so she was facing me. "What is it?"

I looked down. "I... I need to apologize. For a lot of things, really."

"Oh." She didn't say anything for a moment, and I looked up to see her frowning into space. "I do, too, I think. Want to go downstairs?"

I sighed. She didn't have anything to apologize for, and the fact that she thought she did was my fault, too, I was sure. But rather than arguing with her, I just nodded. "Probably a good idea."

Astra led the way down the stairs, with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and trailing on the floor. She plopped down on one of the couches, then smiled at me. "I'm going first."

"Astra, that's really not necessary," I said, slowly sitting down across from her. This was a bad idea, I could already tell. Contradicting her about this would probably only make her upset, but I couldn't let her sit here and apologize for things that weren't her fault. My conscience wouldn't let me.