We Will Shine {Book 6 in the Star of Gryffindor Series}

Chapter 33 - Opening Up

~Astra~

The urge to curl up in a ball and spend the rest of my days nested under my blankets was getting stronger all the time.

Sure, I hadn't had any prophetic dreams in a while. In fact, there was only one more that hadn't happened already. Albus had suggested hopefully that this was the end, maybe there weren't any more dreams because nothing else would happen. I didn't believe that for a second. If this was part of some big plan on Stillens' part, he wouldn't stop now. I wasn't over the edge yet. I hadn't quite fallen into the pit of overwhelming isolation and despair he seemed to want me in. Teetering on the edge, yes, but not there yet.

I didn't know whether it was worse to know what was coming and not be able to stop it, or to face the unknown and be completely blindsided. Either way, I guess there wasn't anything I could do.

In other news, Wren had apparently seen the prime minister at her uncle's manor, proving he wasn't under the Imperius Curse. Faith put it in the Quibbler about two weeks later, citing a completely made up Ministry source. Russey was "confirmed to not be under the Imperius Curse, despite the vacant, stupid expression on his face at all times." It was enough to make the Prophet publish a counter-article making Russey out to be as good as the second coming of Christ.

I still was suffering through lessons with Trelawney. I use the word "lessons" loosely, because I was getting nothing out of them. She was trying to teach me how to interpret dreams, as if my dreams weren't the most straight-forward dreams ever. I couldn't help feeling like I was wasting my time as we spent hours pouring over symbolism. Babies meant new beginnings, crosses were the end of a phase of life, falling was anxiety over a lack of control. I wasn't dreaming about any of those things. I didn't see why this was important.

I hadn't told Trelawney about my dreams with One. I hadn't figured out what they were, or why. I'd never had dreams like those before. I really didn't want to sit around for hours listening to Trelawney going over the symbolism of a dark void and not being able to see or hear. I wasn't sure that it was that deep.

I did write to my dad about them, though. He wrote back that he'd never heard anything like that, but to be wary of her if I had any more dreams about her. The fact that she'd freaked out so much over me mentioning Stillens didn't bode well. If she was a real person, and not just my exhausted and paranoid imagination, or worse, another way Stillens was somehow getting into my head, I needed to be careful.

There didn't seem to be much I could do about anything. My dreams about One came on their own whims (or maybe her own whims), and I couldn't control them. I also couldn't control when the next episode would be. I couldn't do anything about the rapidly brewing war. I couldn't do anything about the fact that Madam Cantha was apparently working for Stillens. I couldn't help fight, or get information, or protect anyone. I couldn't do anything. About anything. I just had to go to class, do my assignments, and act like everything was fine when the world was really crashing down and my own mind felt like a churning hurricane of chaos without an eye of peace in the middle of the storm.

I honestly envied Wren the fact that she could do something about all of this. I wouldn't have told her that, of course, because I knew she didn't enjoy it and it was dangerous and I didn't want to make her mad, but I was tired of feeling useless and confused. And scared. I was scared most of all.

That might have been why I was throwing myself so deeply into research. Not for school, of course; I didn't really care about that. Colette and I were going through every article in the Quibbler about missing muggles, with help from Albus and Poppy.

We'd discovered a few things. First, so far every person whose body hadn't been found was a kid. They were all about twelve or under, too. That was an odd similarity, and none of us knew what to think about it, but it was the most obvious one.