Disclaimer: It is not my fault if you decide to go through with reading this one shot. It is also not my fault if you get PTSD from this one shot. This is only a work of fiction because I got bored.
Imagine: After the entire incident with Ryuji poisoning your ramen and killing you and you blowing up and killing him in the process, you both end up in hell. After all the shit you’ve been through, you still decide to become best bros in the end. “Joker, I’m sorry. I was just filled with anger because of Morgana. I should have poisoned him instead of you.” You give him a soft smile as you and Ryuji have a bro moment. You look around and grab Ryuji’s arm as you say “Let’s get outta here.” You two have another bro moment as you hold hands and walk through hell together. “No homo by the way.” After a few hours of holding hands, you come across a tall building, and it looks fucking horrible. As you and Ryuji look up, Ryuji says “Hazbin Hotel, huh? Sounds gay.” You think to yourself, “I was just about to say that! I guess great minds think alike.” You and Ryuji both look at each other as Ryuji says, “Joker, you wanna head in?” You look at him with an angry look. “ITS AKIRA DAMMIT.” He decides to break the 4th wall and says, “Who cares man, everyone who has played persona five or is currently reading this imagine story is only going to see you as Joker, so what’s the point in standing up for yourself? It’s Joker.” You pout like a little bitch on the inside as you and Ryuji both walk into the weird “Hazbin Hotel.” You and Ryuji both walk in, but nobody is there. Maybe this place was abandoned because of how shit it looks. It’s messy as hell, and there’s a bar with booze instead of coffee. You’re bummed out because you can’t make coffee in hell. Sojiro probably would have been proud of you if you told him you sold his coffee in hell. You look at Ryuji and say “Wanna crash here for the night… or day… or however hell works?” Ryuji just simply nods his head as you both try to find your way through the godridden place. As you both explore this place, you start to hear a weird voice coming from the outside of the hotel. You and Ryuji hide behind some broken furniture as you hear someone scream, “WELL I’M STARVED! WHO WANTS SOME JAMBALAYA?!” You see some weird people walking to the hotel that look like they’re dressed in furry costumes. Not surprised. But it turns out they’re not furries. They’re demons. You gasp and say out loud, “They’re demons?! I thought they were furries! Ryuji looks at you and says, “This is hell, of course there’s going to be demons here! What did you expect of furries too? They had it comin’ to em. You both see the demons walk in the hotel as some dude says “MY MOTHER ONCE SHOWED ME A WONDERFUL RECIPE FOR JAMBALAYA! IN FACT, IT NEARLY KILLED HER!! YOU COULD SAY THE KICK WAS RIGHT OUT OF HELL!!!” Ryuji looks at you in fear and whispers “That dude sounds like sounds like a effin’ radio.” You just simply nod your head in worry and wonder how to get out of this situation. You can’t dip cause the door is blocked, so you’ll just have to wait it out. Suddenly, the furniture you and Ryuji were hiding behind disappears. You look up to see that those demons are staring at you. One of them looks like a fuckin spider which sends chills down your spine. It even sends chills down all of your persona’s spines. The weird guy holding a microphone speaks and says “WHY HELLO THERE, I’M THE RADIO DEMON! WHY ARE YOU IN THIS WONDERFUL ESTABLISHMENT? ARE YOU HERE TO WORK FOR THIS HOTEL? OR SELL YOUR SOUL?” You and Ryuji were so terrified you were at a loss for words. “HAHA I’M JUST KIDDING. AND WHAT’S WITH YOUR WEIRD PINOCCHIO FACES? YOU SHOWED UP IN HELL FOR BEING TOO MUCH OF A REAL BOY?” You knew Ryuji had Igor’s face, but you actually forgot that you had Igor’s face. Ryuji says “We had these faces when we woke up in hell.” The weird demon guy just smiled at you and simply says “WELL LET ME FIX THAT UP FOR YA!” and with in a second your ugly igor faces are gone. “THERE YA GO, ALL FIXED UP!” Ryuji touches his face and screams, “FOR REAL?!” You just look at Ryuji and look back at the weird demon guy. “I’M THE RADIO DEMON! HOW ABOUT YOU FINE FELLAS?” You don’t wanna say anything because you feel like this is going to go in a bad direction later on, but Ryuji says your names anyways. ‘I’m rYuJi, and this is jOkEr. Suddenly out of nowhere like a fanfiction, a weird ass looking spider walks up behind the radio demon, and makes the weirdest eye contact with Ryuji, like he’s thirsty. The weird looking spider then says “Hey, names Angel dust. But you can call me daddy!” *wink Ryuji suddenly starts gagging, and starts to mumble “hell...no…” Ryuji then Immediately throws up everywhere because of how disgusted he was by angel dust. Angel dust just looks at Ryuji in the kinkiest way you could imagine. The radio demon is just standing there, and decides to butt in. “WELL, YOU GUYS SHOULD STAY HERE FOR NOW! WE COULD USE YOUR HELP FOR BUILDING THIS HAZBIN HOTEL! I’LL SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOMS RIGHT NOW!” You and Ryuji just follow the radio demon because you don’t want to die, especially since it’s your first day in hell. As you follow the radio demon, you kept thinking about those other chicks that were with the radio demon and angel dust earlier. You realize you forgot the name of those two chicks and you’re too lazy to go and look it back up, so they’re doing something else and will be irrelevant probably until the end of the one shot. You both finally reach your room, and as you can imagine, it’s horrible. It’s pictures of cute cats and rainbows, and pictures of furries. The radio demon takes a look at us saying “THIS WAS THE ONLY ROOM AVAILABLE UNTIL WE CAN CLEAN UP THE OTHER ROOMS THAT ANGEL DUST HAS INFECTED! TOMORROW YOU WILL START HELPING US OUT!” Ryuji says “FOR REAL?!” You just look at him, knowing that you will probably be a literal slave to this hotel for all eternity. Before angel dust and the radio demon leave, the radio demon turns around and says, “OH, AND DON”T OPEN THAT CURTAIN. IT WILL KILL YOU. ENJOY YOUR STAY!” You see angel dust go over to Ryuji, pull out a card from his shirt, and give it to Ryuji. You then watch angel dust wink at Ryuji as he leaves and shuts the door. Ryuji looks away and throws up on the curtain, and Ryuji starts to complain. “I can’t believe it. I’m being hit on by a GAY SPIDER! At this point I NEED A STRONGER WORD THAN FUCK.” You look over at the curtains that Ryuji threw up on, and you bitch slap him across the face as you scream “YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB RYUJI AND IT WAS TO NOT MESS WITH THE CURTAINS! I WISH I WENT TO HELL BY MYSELF!!!” You then hear a weird noise come from behind the curtains. That voice sounds familiar to you. You look at Ryuji as he steps closer to the curtains. You and Ryuji step over to the curtains and look at each other as you pull down the curtains. You knew that familiar voice anywhere. It was Morgana. You haven’t seen him since he killed you with your own bed. But because you’re the main character you always get to respawn at a certain checkpoint. Morgana just got instant death, but you didn’t know he ended up in hell, let alone the hazbin hotel. Morgana finally caught his breath and started to speak. “You guys saved me. The traps in hell are way more complex than they are in the palaces. I was basically stuck inside the wall when the curtains were closed. Also, what are you guys doing in hell? I haven’t seen you guys since I killed Joker with his own bed.” Ryuji looks at me and then looks back. “I poisoned Joker's ramen. He was already dead but he exploded which killed me in the process.” You looked at Morgana and Ryuji as they seemed to share a bro moment for killing you. It was evil, but you couldn’t help but be happy that they were getting along. After their bro moment, it’s time to get down to business. “Morgana, do you have any idea on how to get out of hell? You are an expert on palaces and mementos, so you must know what’s going on in hell. You’ve been here longer than me and Ryuji.” Morgana gives you and Ryuji a worried look. "That’s the issue. I had no idea how to get out of hell until I stumbled upon the hazbin hotel. When I finally figured out a way to escape back to the mortal realm, that’s when I was trapped behind the curtain. I know how to get out of hell, but it’s not going to be easy, and we only get one shot at this.” You and Ryuji are ready to do the impossible. “What do we have to do Morgana?” Morgana morphs into a buff ass cat and gives us a devilish look as he says, “To leave hell, we have to destroy the hazbin hotel.”
END OF PART ONE
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