Clarity ~ m.c.

•Chapter 17•

"Go away." she cried.

"Lauren its Michael." I said hoping she would open the door knowing it was me.

"I don't want to talk to anyone." She whimpered.

"Lauren come on."

"Michael I don't want to talk to anyone!" she repeated.

"Lauren I want to help you."

"No one can help me."

"I can just open the door . . . please." I begged, resting my forehead on her door, loosing hope that she would never open it.

That's when the door creaked open about a third of the way and Lauren stood on the other side with red puffy eyes. My heart broke seeing her like this. Her beautiful smile was gone, her soft aqua flowing hair was a mess sticking to her face and tears continued to roll down her cheeks. She's been though too much to have a life like this, she came her to have a better life and it's turning to shit just like her old one.

"Please" I asked again and she opened the door more so I could come in. Taking the chance before she could change her mind I walked in. Observing her room things were fallen all over the floor, along with broken glass from the frame she kept her mum's American flag in. Before I could do or say anything she was wrapped in my arms, crying into my chest.

"Why was I cursed with such a terrible life? Nothing ever goes right and always turns to shit. I can never win."

"Lauren not everything in your life is terrible."

"Yes it is. They don't even believe in me enough to think I'm going to make the team, and then she had the nerve to call herself my mom." She started sobbing again.

"Lauren I know it seems like it's the end of the world and nothing ever seems to go right, but that's what happens when you fight for something you want. Your aunt didn't mean it, trust me she's devastated."

"Yeah well I'm crushed and broken and if she didn't mean it then why did she say it? I always get hurt and the ones I love always hurt me the most. . ."

I couldn't take it anymore I pulled her away from me holding her cheeks in my hands.

"Lauren listen to me, you are loved. You are loved in more ways than one." I told her. Tears continued to roll down her cheeks and I whipped them away with my thumbs.

"No I'm not . . . the ones I love always ends up leaving me or hurting me."

I couldn't take it anymore; she thinks that no one loves her when I do. I know my feelings now; I am in love with Lauren.

"You say no one love's you, but I do." I whispered brushing her hair out of her face. I started to lean in kiss her when she pulled away.

"No." she said. "No, this isn't right." She said backing away.

"How?" I demanded walking towards her. "Do you not like me?"

"No I do Michael, it's just-"

"It's just what Lauren? Go on say it!" I questioned her. She became quiet.

"Say it!" I pressured her to talk.

"I like you Michael! Happy?" she shouted.

"So you have feelings for me?" I questioned.

"Of course I do Michael! I just said that!"

"Then what's wrong?" I asked her. "I want you Lauren." I told her brushing her hair out of her face again, but she continued to walk away.

"I can't do this to Geordie!" she said becoming flustered. "Geordie's my friend, and a damn good one at that and I'm not going to let my feeling for you hurt her."

"You're always thinking about others Lauren and what others want! Forget about Geordie for a minute. Forget about what I want. What do you want?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. What I want is you, but you're leaving so it doesn't matter." she said.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm in love with you Michael but you're going to be leaving for tour." She said. And the tension in the room reached its boiling point. "When are you leaving?" she asked.

"After Christmas, we just found out today they want us to come earlier to finalize things and start rehearsals."

"Well that's just icing on the cake." She stated. "Why is it that everyone I love always ends up leaving me?" she said as she walked towards her window. I followed her and pulled her in for another hug; I honestly don't know what to say.

"We're not leaving for good." I tried to comfort her.

"No, but it always seems that I'm always loosing people in my life." She said. "Can't keep losing people Michael."

"And you won't." I said leaning down placing my lips on hers.