Clarity ~ m.c.

•Chapter 33•

Playlist:

Out of the Woods- Taylor Swift

Immortals- Fall Out Boy

Gotta Be Somebody- Nickelback

Novocaine- Fall Out Boy

Hold On- Colbie Caillat

***Michael's POV***

Trying to get over Lauren just simply can't be done. Everything I do somehow reminds me of her, from thinking about dying my hair to living my dream. I text her everyday hoping she'll answer but being on the road traveling through different time zones, she never responds or the off chance she does its nothing more than a hello or maybe a how are you.

I get up dates about how she's doing with the Olympic team and everything from Liz. I'm so incredibly happy and proud of her, but she'll never know because she's cast me off.

I get alerts every once in a while that there's a new video up on her YouTube page and it's her and her teammates all dancing, doing a routine together. She looks so happy; the happiest I've ever seen her. It hurst that I'm not part of the reason she's happy anymore. I wonder a lot if she ever thinks about me or if she misses me. She looks like she's getting along without me. She's a recurring thought in my mind everyday, and now that we're home from tour it makes it so much harder to deal with. Every time I look outside I half expect her to be in her garage practicing, but she's never there. I can tell people know that there's something more behind my fake smile, but I keep one on and continue to be my normal joking self trying to hide the hurt and emptiness when really all I wanted to do is scream. I love her, I always will; I'm not giving giving up on her.

The mates and I started our European leg of the tour and it's been amazing so far! We signed a new band from LA, Hey Violet to be our opening act and their really cool and talented. It's been a blast hanging out with them. They do a great job of getting the crowd pumped and excited, but when it comes time for us to go on, that's the best part. I love performing, it's the only time I can forget about everything and escape for a while. The mates and I have been rehearsing more, writing more, wanting to be better than ever.

**

"Mate you want to play FIFA with us?" Calum asked me as we finished up rehearsals before our show and I shook my head no.

"Well don't just sit around and pout around." Luke commented. That comment didn't help at all, I was too emotional and it caused me to have a short temper.

"Oh and what would you like me to do Luke?" I snapped grabbing Luke by the collar of his shirt. "Go out and party and act like I didn't loose the one person I love?" I yelled.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit, you brought this upon yourself!" Luke yelled back. "We told you to tell her the truth and to fix it and you didn't! She's a human being who's been through hell and back and has feeling just like the rest of us!" He added. "She was not only your girlfriend but she was our friend and now she barely talks to any of us!"

Calum and Ashton we now trying to pull me off of him. When they finally got me off of him, Luke flung backwards onto the stage just missing Ash's drum set by a few feet. Calum was now holding me back incase I tried to make a move towards Luke, while Ash rushed over to him to check on him and see if he was okay.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Luke said as Ash helped him up and he fixed his flannel he was wearing over his shirt, brushing off any dirt or dust that got on him from the dirty stage.

"Mate are you okay?" I asked him as I went to walk towards him but Calum restrained me. I looked at Luke, he's like my brother . . . I can't believe I just did that to him. "Im so sorry." I said quietly as I sat down on one of the speakers while Ash helped Luke over to the other one.

"Me too." He said quietly. "It wasn't just your fault, we should have told her too." He added.

"We all messed it up." Calum sighed. Sitting on the floor.

"I'm such an idiot." I chocked trying not to cry I front of the people I call my brothers.

***

***Lauren's POV***

Trying to forget Michael is harder than it seems. Especially when he's constantly texting me everyday. It hurts to to look at them, he basically has a conversation with himself and begs for forgiveness and a second chance, but I'm not willing to give out any second chances at the moment. Once and a while I'll say hi but I'm constantly busy with gymnastics, practicing all day long and now living in Melbourne, it takes a lot out of me, I don't know what to say to him.

I wonder if he ever thinks about me or if he misses me. He's always a recurring thought in my mind everyday, but he's so busy with the band and I'm so busy with gymnastics . . . My aunt keeps me updated about how their doing on tour, I'm so proud of them but I can't bring myself to tell him that after what happened. He looks so happy whenever I see him in pictures or videos performing, I can tell he loves it and it seems that he's getting along fine without me. Now he can have who ever he wants.

It kills me that I'm not the reason why he's happy anymore. I still love him, I won't forget about him or get over him. I didn't want to give up on him, I really don't, but I just need some space. I can't keep going through the same thing, I get hurt and then I have to get through it and pretend that I'm okay. I'm putting my foot down, no matter how hard I want to scream.