~19~

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~Caroline~ 

I was going to go insane. A week had passed since the unfortunate demise of my dear friend and I still didn't want to believe it. The fact that Penelope's body was going to be shipped to her family in England made it so much harder. Sol was sure that not having to attend a memorial would make things easier on me. I was too stubborn to come to terms with that just yet but I knew he was probably right. 

The last two days were especially boring; Chris and Lydia had gone with my mother out of state to visit with her brother for spring break on the beach. Sol was spending long days at the office to make up for the missed time during his recovery-but when he was home, my husband was being extremely dominant. Sucking me back in time to our easy going lives up at the condo. And I'd thought then was hard. 

The only company I had otherwise was Thomas and Tobin...two very quiet, lethal males who took their jobs way too seriously. I'd stared out the window this morning from the master suite, drinking my honey lemon tea to stave off nausea, and had watched them walk the fence line of the property. I thought it was dramatic, Sol didn't mind it and they thought it necessary. Whatever. 

Now, my empty tea cup long left behind on the bedside table, I stood in the very back of the walk-in closet, and was near the point of chewing my bottom lip raw. I didn't know if I was having a hot flash from pregnancy or just extremely flushed and overwhelmed over the collection of long forgotten sex toys I had to choose from.  Why where there so many in just the one long, black case I had pulled down from the top shelf? I hadn't bothered with the actual "toy box." Certainly hadn't went deeper to search for the crops or whips or canes. The thought alone made me shudder.

I'd wanted to beckon my husband back into bed this morning, when he whispered into my  ear that he was going to work, before the sun had even come up. But I'd been tired-these babies were taking a lot of my energy. Waking up was getting hard. Napping at least once a day was a thing now, as was gorging and then throwing up. I swore I was going to lose more than gain if it went on like this the entire pregnancy. 

Thankfully, I didn't feel the need to nap, gorge or throw up right now. I wondered then, if I'd been this fucking horny during my pregnancy with Lydia. My eyes scanned the product before they settled on the very same dildo Sol had made me put in my mouth months ago. Not what I had come searching for but I leaned down and picked it up. 

It was heavier than I remembered, thick and rubbery. It'd done it's job before...and it would do it again, now. I turned around and left the big closet, not even bothering to put the case away, and crossed the bedroom, to the bed. I tossed it onto the middle of the bed and went to my nightstand. The contents in the drawer when I slid it open varied; A novel, a chocolate bar because sweets was so a thing this time around, the TV remote, and my vibrator-that I was clearly growing tired of. I needed a new one. But I searched a little deeper, for the candles in the back and a box of matches. 

I lit one and sat it on the night stand before I went to Sol's side and did the same with the other. By the time I close the drapes, lock the door and get into bed, the scent of lavender is in the air and I'm feeling a bit edgy. Edgy but excited. No, it's not as well-endowed as my husband but beggars couldn't be choosers and I was not going on the hunt again for something bigger. 

I made myself comfy on the bed, against a pile of pillows and let my hands wander over my breasts, down my stomach. My slip slides up when I part my legs, not too far yet-at least not as far apart as they will be in a few minutes. Anticipation and an ache gnaws as my hand glides over my thighs, just brushing the damp fabric of my panties. I want them off...I don't want to take my time. I want to fuck myself and fantasize about my husband. What started as something subtle turned into desperation and I hooked my fingers under the waistband of my lingerie and pushed them down my thighs. 

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