Only Human Twilight

27

I hadn't expected anything to change. I had assumed I would open my eyes to the same Chicago skyline I'd been looking at all along. And yet, when I opened me eyes this time, I wasn't in Chicago. I wasn't outside. I was in a room, a very familiar room, with a long table which had eight seats around it.

The Cullens' dining room table. And I was sitting at the end of it, just where I'd left.

I leapt from the seat before the idea had fully registered and went running into the living room.

Before I could begin to fear that they'd gone away in my absence, he was there before me, disheveled and tense and beautiful. I threw myself into his arms even as he scooped me up, clutching me to his chest where I was happy to stay.

"Oh, Edward! Edward, I was so scared; I didn't know what I should do, what you would want..." I babbled, once again reduced to tears as I buried my head in his shoulder. He didn't seem to hear much of anything, only continued to murmur again and again, "Thank God, thank God..."

Within seconds, the room was full with the Cullen family. I heard them all, their cries of relief, their touches to my arms in greeting - they might have hugged me, had Edward shown any intention of letting me go. For now, I was too caught up to pay them much attention.

"Let's give them some time, shall we?" I heard Carlisle's voice say over the chatter, quieting the room instantly. Edward took that as his cue to move us up the stairs, up to the bedroom that had for a long time been as much mine as his.

"You came back," he sighed into my hair as he pushed the door open and kicked it shut behind him. "You came back to me..."

"I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to," I sniffled, content to be held for as long as he refused to put me down. "I didn't know how..."

"How did you get back?" he asked as he finally set me down on the edge of the bed. He didn't go far, lingering at my side. "I couldn't see that part."

"I really don't know, maybe my wish was fullfilth" I said, unable to take my eyes off his face. "I really don't know. One moment I was there, and the next, I was back in the dining room. ...What do you mean, you couldn't see that part?"

He didn't seem capable of not touching me now as his fingers trailed over my face, my neck. "Every moment you were in my past, new memories formed - not replacing the originals, but creating a new layer. I saw everything up to the point that I caught the flu...then everything went dark."

My breath caught in my throat. "You know everything that happened, then."

"Yes," he nodded slowly. I waited for more, but he didn't offer anything, and his eyes gave away nothing.

"How...how do you feel about all of it?" I asked him, uncertain. It felt like he still wanted me, loved me, but I was afraid to take anything for granted.

He frowned thoughtfully, staring me down with golden eyes. "I feel...conflicted. Grateful. Jealous. Frightened."

"Frightened?" That surprised me. What did he have to be frightened of?

His hands fell away from me as he looked down at his lap. "Yes, frightened. While I could see everything, I had no way of knowing for sure how you felt, how much of what you said was true...I couldn't be sure if you would still want to come back to me, knowing...knowing what could have been."

I shook my head in disbelief. "You thought I would want to stay? Edward...I love you. Every part of you - past, present, and future. What I want hasn't changed at all. I won't settle for anything less than an eternity with you."

His eyes turned hopefully back to me. "I just...I couldn't help fearing that you would prefer me human. That you would want to have the life and the family that I can't offer you now, or that you would find it...physically preferable..."