Oi Homeschooled - Fred Weasley x reader

*- 53 - Possibly the last months

"I'm sorry for not listening to you when you asked me to explain. I shouldn't have acted so impulsively. And I'm sorry about kissing Roger. Not for you, you don't get to be angry about that, but Roger deserves an apology because I used him and that's not okay. I didn't kiss him because I like him, I just wanted to hurt you."

I took a slow breath, glad that I had said that. I was sorry about kissing Roger, really, but if Fred would get angry about it, I would absolutely lose my marbles. We had to learn from what had happened.

"That's okay, I get that", Fred mumbled. That made me feel relieved. He wasn't angry.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about what happened with Aisley. Filch almost caught us when pranking Umbridge and she thought kissing me was a good way to bypass that. I didn't kiss her back, I promise, but I should have told you. It's just that you had just had that detention with Umbridge and I didn't want to add to that", he sighed. His words were followed by a thick silence.

"I'm sorry, that's a lame exuse", he said after a while. "I was just a coward, afraid of getting dumped." He picked up a small rock and threw it away. I could see that his face muscles were tense, which he often did when he was angry at himself. Part of me was glad that he was, and part of me wasn't. I didn't want him to feel bad, because despite everything, I still loved him. That wasn't something I could turn off in a few weeks.

"I guess it was bound to go wrong at some point, right?" I mumbled.

"Yeah, I guess so." It was silent for a while as if the both of us were looking for the right words to say what we were thinking.

"We were just really, really bad together", I whispered. It was painful to say, but it was true. Our relationship was toxic. There was no trust, no communication.

"But also kind of good", he mumbled softly, sending another jolt of pain through my chest. It was also kind of good. There had been so many good moments, but I couldn't let that happen, not again. I looked down to avoid getting teary-eyed, seeing his hand rested on the stone bench, only half an inch away from mine. They'd never be closer again. They'd never be intertwined again, like they used to be so ofted.

"Definitely", I said soflty.

"I'm glad we can put this past us, though. It's time for more carefree days", I said, trying to cheer myself up again and he chuckled.

"You can say that again." It was quiet for a while. There were so many things that still needed to be said, but I didn't know how. I didn't know anything at the moment. I saw him fiddling with his hands in my peripheral, his red locks dancing in front of his eyes. I had missed him and it pained me that I couldn't hug him anymore, but I had to convince myself that it was better this way. 

I wondered if I would ever be able to get over him. I couldn't see how. I couldn't see how I could possibly love someone the way I love Fred. I couldn't see myself ever losing the love I have for Fred in the first place. But I had to.

"By the way, George and I have bought a place for our store", he said and I saw excitement flickering in his eyes.

"You have? Where?" That definitely brought up my mood. The joke shop was going to be reality.

"So?"

"That's still a secret. I'm not going to tell you." I grunted.

"I thought we were done with secrets?" I joked. Fred's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red and he looked down, fiddling with his hands again.

"Diagon Alley number 93. It's all ours", he said, looking up almost apologetically. 

"Well, I'll tell you a secret too", I said quickly because the sad mood was returning again. "I have decided what I want I'm going to do when I graduate." Fred raised his brows. He looked sad for a little while, but then smiled genuinely.