*- 11 - Go with me

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As soon as I reached my dorm room, I started crying hysterically. So this was what heartache felt like. I slid down the wall and threw my bag as far away from me as possible. I dug my nails into the palms of my hands to feel something other than pain in my heart. Any pain was okay, but not this one.

I don't think I realised how much I liked him until that moment. Someone who could make me feel this way with just one sentence was someone I cared deeply for. I had dealt with the loss of a parent before, so you would think this would be something I could handle, but I couldn't. I had never experienced this before. I don't think I've ever cared for someone other than my mother. This year was all so new to me and it went so well up until now. Yet now it had all come crashing down on me.

Why did he do that? I was so sure that he was going to ask me. Did he mean something else? What else could he have meant? I didn't understand any of this.

"Y/N, are you in there?" I heard. It was Alicia. They could not know about this. They could not know about my crush on Fred, because that would make things so awkward and I didn't want that. Angelina would feel so guilty if she knew and she didn't deserve to feel that way. I had to come up with an excuse.

"Yeah I am, but I'm feeling really bad", I said and I heard them come in, so I just acted as if I was feeling miserable. Just don't think about Fred for a while, Y/N.

"What's wrong? Why did you leave?" Alicia asked.

"I felt really nauseous, I had to go to the bathroom", I lied. I knew I wasn't convincing enough.

"Don't worry, I'm fine now", I said. "The tears are just from throwing up, it always makes me emotional."

I forced a smile and they sat down in front of me.

"Shall we get Madame Pomfrey?" Angelina asked, who had come in as well.

"No, don't worry about it. There's not much she can do", I said.

"Did something happen with Cedric?" Angelina asked carefully and I put up my best poker face. Right, they still believed I had a crush on Cedric.

"No, not at all, just nauseous," I said and they actually believed it.

"I'm going to go to bed, I'll see you guys later okay?" I said and they nodded. They left the room and I laid down on my bed. Tears were again brimming in my eyes. I cried myself to sleep that night.

And it was like that for a couple more nights. If I wanted people to believe me, then I had to keep up the act. I stayed in my room for another day, claiming that I was sick. I even let Alicia take me to Madame Pomfrey to get me checked. I was incredibly pale and weak from not sleeping much and not eating for a full 24 hours, so my sickness was pretty believable. She gave me a potion to strengthen up and I got out of classes for an additional day.

It was not my body who needed healing, but that thing in my chest. I could really use these two days of solitude to think things over. I thought of many reasons for Fred's sudden shift, but I wasn't quite sure which one the right solution was. Was he not going to ask me when I thought he would? Did he think that I said yes to Cedric? Was he annoyed at me not following him after Cedric interrupted? A rational idea would be to talk to him about it, but I was far to awkward to initiate a conversation about his Yule Ball date.

That feeling only intensified after I started attending classes again, as Fred ignored me completely. It made me sad and a little angry too. Everything was so good and now suddenly he turned one-eighty degrees and was angry at me? He didn't even ask me how I felt when I started to attend classes again. I guess I had it all wrong and he didn't like me like I thought he did.

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