Please Like Me (Lauren/You)

Sausage Sizzle

I quickly get in the car, followed by one smelly, messy haired Normani. As I start the car I hear her mumble to herself a bit more, complaining about her smell and about Jenny, how she 'isn't to blame'.
"Mani, you're going to have to tell her not to flush tampons down the toilet", I say once more, as I drive our way to the airport.
"I'm not talking to her about that"
"Mani, this is probably new to her", I mock, chuckling a bit, "She's probably scared and a little bit confused, and as an adult I just think you have the responsibility to talk to her about it!"
"It wasn't Jenny!"

Just as I enter the airport's parking lot, my cell phone starts ringing, and I quickly pick up.
"Hi!"
"I'm coming, I'm here!", Ally's voice echoes around my car, "I smell not very good!"
"We're here, we're just parking", I respond, "We'll come get you and help you with your bags"

"We can't afford $515", Normani comments as we make our way to the B gate, which I'm almost certain is the right one.
"Nope", I pop the P.
"Who's gonna pay?", she asks, trying to keep up with me as I anxiously rush my way through the crowded airport lobby.
I roll my eyes annoyedly, before getting into my sarcastic mode, "I don't know, do you think it's too rude to ask Jenny?"

"Yes. Usually landlords pay for stuff like this", Normani comments and I already feel like killing myself, "You're gonna ask your dad?"
I groan before sighing loudly, "No, there just has to be a better way, doesn't there?"

My airy thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a greeting yell coming out of the automatic doors. My head turns to that direction and my eyes are faced with the short blonde being.
"Oh, Ally! There she is", I exclaim, suddenly smiling, as I watch my tiny friend come up to us, dragging two times worth her weight only in luggage.

Mani and I both grab some of her baggage as we turn around, heading back towards my car, as Ally starts talking.
"Um, so, I'm pretty furious, because the guy who was seating next to me, I think ate all of my cheese and crackers while I was asleep. Who does that?"

As I laugh at Ally, my eyes wander towards Nornani, and she seems just frozen at the long lost sight of the small blonde. I can figure how she must be feeling after a year, so, giggling to myself, I start the teasing.

"Ah, Ally, Normani has found herself a child girlfriend. She's in high school. She's been really mean to the kid, and then, over committing to offset her guilt, Mani bought her a rabbit, right, which lives in our house. Mani and I are currently co-parenting a rabbit with a girl in high school", I laugh as I watch Ally frown in confusion, and Mani frown in defense, "Also, she got her period in the house, and she flushed her tampon down the toilet and it costs $515. We can't afford $515, Ally"

Normani groans and points her finger at me before speaking up, "Y/N got a flatmate because she thought the flatmate was pretty, then she fell in love with the flatmate, then the flatmate kissed Y/N because the flatmate was bored, then Y/N pissed her pants. So, you should be delicate with Y/N because she's sad today"

I see Ally frown in confusion once again as I laugh loudly and shake my head, before responding, in denial, "No, I'm not sad because of Billie, okay? I'm sad because your bad choices are costing us $515, my tomato plant is dead and also, I have to wake up and look at your face everyday, just every single day. Do you know what that's like for me, Mani?"
"And Billie's dreamy face", she retorts.

"Okay!", Ally cuts our complaints in half, raising her arms up in light annoyance.
"What have you been up to?", I try, turning my head to her, as my mind stays stuck in the Billie subject.
"Ah, just working in Hamburg, I guess", she wanders off, as I turn my head quickly back to Normani, almost getting dizzy.
"She didn't even seem awkward about it this last week, did she?", I question, unsure, "I mean, like, I don't think she thought about it at all. I think to her kissing me was, like, a joke. I think to her kissing me was, like, funny"