Living With The Bad Boy [COMPLETE][VERSION ONE]

Chapter 18

I haven't eaten in 40 hours, I can barely stand without the throbbing in my head making me want to pass out, but I'm fine.

There's a knock at my door, and Jase pokes his head into the room. "Can I come in?" he asks. I nod and he opens the door, stepping into the frame but no closer. He's changed clothes, now wearing jeans and a thin black t-shirt that seems to be designed specifically so I can see his pectorals.

"Hey," he says softly and I'm ripped out of my idiotic daydream.

"Um, hi," I say, embarrassed by the blush that fills my cheeks. I still can't believe that he saved my life, that he stayed with me after I woke up. It's weird. He convinced me to stop thinking for a little bit, to forget about all of the distance in between us, both literally and figuratively. Now I'm hyper-aware of every molecule that stands in our way. It's a strange feeling, like the world has somehow shifted. It doesn't make sense to my brain how Jase can be both the guy who was a complete jerk to me and also... somehow close enough to help me in one of my worst moments. It feels wrong.

Jase walks in further, and for some reason I think he might be blushing, too.

It must be warm in here, I guess.

Jase holds up a small paper bag with the words 'Luna's Bakery' written on the side. He hands it to me, and I open it to find two soft, large molasses cookies, still warm.

"I got you cookies," he says. "I mean, obviously. But... yeah."

"How did you know molasses was my favorite?" I ask, grinning despite myself.

He rolls his eyes, but he's smirking. "You gotta give me some credit, Red. I pay attention."

"Since when?" I ask, laughing. He moves to playfully shove me but his hand hits the side of my ribs by accident and I wince. "A-agh." My breath hitches in my throat as I try to speak.

"Shit, I'm so sorry," he says, moving his hand away. "Are you alright? Do you need some ice or anything?"

"No, I'm fine," I say, gritting my teeth until the pain passes. I didn't realize that I'd fallen on my side so hard during the fire.

"You sure?" he asks gently, his fingertips touching my wrists, barely, like a whisper. That one touch shouldn't be sending shivers up my spine.

Think about everything he did to you, I tell myself. Think about that day in the cafeteria. Think about the syrup. Think about all of the times he laughed about you behind your back.

I pull my hand away. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Maybe this is all from hitting my head. Do concussions influence hormonal attractions to people you should really not be attracted to? I'll have to look it up.

I break off a piece of one of the cookies and pop it into my mouth, not being able to resist a grin at how perfect it is- buttery and sweet, the molasses strong but not strong enough to make it spicy and bitter.

"This is literally the best thing I've ever tasted."

Jase smiles, and I can see the dimple in his left cheek. "Good." He suddenly looks a bit uncomfortable. Awkward. He runs a hand through his hair as though he's... nervous? "Look, Red, I brought you these cookies not just because I felt like it..." he's looking at the floor, at the plastic of my hospital bed, having a conversation with everyone except me. "I wanted to say- I-" he bites his lip, finally looking up at me. "I wanted to apologize."

"Jase. You already know that I don't blame you whatsoever for everything that happened. You saved my life. You don't need to apologize for that."

"That's not what I want to apologize for." His voice, low and husky and soft, is steady.

"Then what are you here to apologize for?"

He sighs, sitting down in the chair next to me. "Everything else."

"Feel free to elaborate."

He smiles bitterly. "I didn't know how to say this. I still don't. I'm terrible at apologies. But that doesn't mean that you don't deserve one, so I guess I should at least try, right?" He sighs. "I'm sorry for the way I've treated you this whole time."

That was not what I was expecting.

"If you're sorry, why didn't you just not act like an asshole to begin with?" I ask, and I'm surprised at how cold my voice is.

Jace winces. "Things aren't that easy, Red." He looks like he wants to say more, but doesn't.

I roll my eyes. "Wow. That was really a stellar apology. I turn away from him and hold out the cookies. "Here. Take these back. I don't want anything from you." And maybe I'm being unreasonable or unfair, but seriously? Jase thinks he can just waltz in here and pretend that everything's okay?

"Fine. Maybe I deserve that," he says. "But seriously, I am sorry. I'm sorry for the day in the cafeteria, I'm sorry for letting Chrissa pour syrup in your hair, I'm sorry for leaving you that morning, and... " he sighed. "I understand if you can't forgive me. But just know that if I could go back and undo it all, I would."

I give him a skeptical look, and the disappointment in his eyes almost makes me want to just accept his apology and move on. I want to believe him, I really do. But I can't.

"And how am I supposed to trust that you really mean this and that you're not just trying to seduce me so you can make fun of me more later?" I ask.

The hurt in his eyes makes me feel immediately guilty, but I don't back down. Jase is known for his ability to get all sorts of girls. He's probably just a really good actor.

"Listen, Red, I don't do this whole apologizing thing very often, okay? I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't serious." He looks down at his hands and I take another bite of the molasses cookie. I kind of want to forgive him for the cookies alone.

"Look," he continues, "I understand if you don't trust me right now. But I want to prove myself to you. I'm not asking you to swear fealty to me or give me you unborn child. I'm just asking you to give me another chance. I'm asking to be... friends."

I raise an eyebrow. "And if those 'friends' of yours find out that you're actually spending time with someone like me? Won't that ruin your entire reputation?"

He smirks. "They don't need to know."

Damn you, Jase. Damn your stupid, perfect blue eyes and the dimple chiseled into your face and the way you make my heart feel like it's being set on fire.

"Fine," I say. "Friends. We can try that."

A/N: Hi everyone & happy Monday (ew did I really just say that?)! I hope everyone had a great weekend and does amazing on midterms if you have them :) I literally did like 4 face masks last night to try and make myself more relaxed and ready for the week haha!

Comment down below if you have any self care routines for when you're stressed!

See you guys next week :)

-LZ