The Toy (BxB)

Twenty Nine

I thought it was cold before, arriving to the hospital. By that evening however things felt even colder.

The interior of the car felt dark. Alphonse sat at one window seat, I sat at the other...
Everything seemed still and lifeless. Alphonse didn't even speak a word or make any loud noise.

The entire way home... Was just absent of anything.

Arriving back at my mother's cottage... Alphonse climbed out of the car and made his way in slowly.

As I followed him in through the door.... I could already hear a distressing sound.

A woman crying - Mom crying.

My heart quivered in its sheltered throne.
I felt pushed away, stood where I was.
Watching Alphonse walk off upstairs.

I knew he was going to go and comfort my mother but deep down... I wish he didn't treat me like this... Like an outcast to my own family.

He wanted to protect me... But I wanted to be there in times like these.

Dragging my feet I made my way around mom's cottage, through the  narrow corridors and various rooms. I just needed to empty my own mind.

At one point I'd found a portrait of mom and Coryn. They looked happy then. She wore a veil of some kind.

I realised this must have been those wedding veils women would wear.

From upstairs a soft tune began to play, I could hear Alphonse's voice.

I couldn't tell what was going on but clearly I was right below mom's room.

He sounded like he was crying.
That hurt me most.
He didn't even want to shed tears in front of me.
He went to mom to comfort her, he went to mom to find comfort for himself.

But I understood that... They have all been friends longer.

I sat down in one of the quiet rooms, I felt engulfed by sadness and loneliness.

Did he even think about the fact that I was broken hearted too?

For a moment.... Being in the blissful darkness felt nice. I didn't need to rely on anyone... Or anyone on me...

I made my way back out of the room, moving back down the corridors and heading upstairs.

When I found Alphonse he was stood outside our guest bedroom.

He looked emotionally done.
When he saw me, his mouth fell open.

He hissed gesturing to me "Come here... Ellyn."

I crept slowly to him and he leaned into me suddenly, wrapping his arms around me in an embrace.

"I'm so sorry..." came the soft raspy words. "I'm sorry!" and again.

For a moment.... His hold on me remained tight, I could hear him breathing deeply and could feel his fast heart beat at my head.

"I've been so cold. I've been so.... Disconnected. I've been fucking stupid. I thought about her and myself and.... I forgot that you loved her too! You love Ystelle as much as I do. You saw her as family... Much like I do!"
My eyes welled up at his words... His gentle hands began playing through my hair.

" Ellyn... Tonight... When we go to bed... Can we just... Hold each other... I need to feel safe. I need to feel... That you're safe... "

I gasped softly into his neck" Hold each other. Yes. "
His soft touch continued to massage at my scalp.