Man it sucks having social anxiety! The insistent tapping of my foot on the hard floor, whenever I stand still in line. The constant itching along my arm, that I can't seem to stop wanting to scratch, because can't they just move faster? Work faster assholes, or install a self checkout lane, you stingy bastards! Fuck my life, I just want to go home!!!
Sometimes death by a thousand paper cuts sounds offly wonderful in exchange for a way to get away fast from this hell pit. Whenever I venture out of my haven I think back to what that batty shrink tells me to do.
"Be more social" he says. He can bite my ass for all I want to do that
"Go outside for a half hour, look around you and see what you're missing out on." He continues yet I just want to go through the the computer and choke him.
"Get a pet and start from there" Alright that one I can see myself doing that one day just not today.
Also what's wrong with online shopping? Nothing is wrong with that but stupid shrinks tells me to try going to a store so here I am in a level of hell...
Glaring at the floor, I take deep breathes to keep me calm, nobody needs to witness one of my panic attacks. Not that they would be useful any of them, because they're the cause of them. Wonderful just wonderful listening to the idiot shrink is bitting me in my skinny ass right now. With a final inhale I find my center and settle down.
Alright Ryn get a hold of yourself, you are better than this, remember you're trying to be better for your future, and maybe one day you can even fall in love. Ha fat chance but let's start with being able to not want to die in a crowd.
I chanted inside my brain for the millionth time and even snarked at my romantic fantasy knowing that it would be hard to fall in love with anyone knowing I couldn't even bare to meet their eyes.
Man did I ever want to fall in love! Reading book after book of what is probably an impossibility is like a mixed blessing. On one hand I got to see it whenever I closed my eyes and let go and on the other hand it just fed my frustrations of not being strong enough to make it a reality.
"Yo man! Move on fowards the dude already left." The man behind me yelled.
Flinching I moved foward placing my basket in front of the cashier, looking down at his hands, hm he had nice hands not hairy or dry looking wonder if he puts on hand cream every hour like I do.
Clearing his throat he said, "That will be $21.18 will you pay with card or cash sir?"
"Card" I whispered as loudly as I could hoping he would be able to hear me.
"Debit or credit? If it's debit you have to swipe if it's credit you insert the card please."
Taking my card out of my wallet, I swiped my card quickly and when it finally beeped basically saying it was approved and I could get the fuck outta of this damn store I took the receipt quickly as possible.
"Have a nice day sir!" The cashier told me as I left the store.
YOU ARE READING
Bipolar Love
Romance"Can I sorch your soul with my name?" He leaned towards me. ""You mean tattoo it in right?" Laughing I kissed his cheek. "No I mean sorch, so that if I ever leave your side, it'll burn whenever you think of us. Of our memories, the good, and defini...
