Dhmis one-shots

Royquest (Shit post)

Paige: Are you talking about that crack head you used to work with?

Harry: Yeah that's the one! It's been, uh, It's been peaceful around here working on the show without him.

Larry: Oh brother, this show STINKS!

*Record Scratch*

Harry: Huh?

Larry: My script looks like a used condom.

Shrignold: My script IS a used condom!

Larry: Come on, let's get out of here!

Harry: WAIT! What if I offered you some free coochie!

Everyone: *stares at Harry*

Harry: *pulls his pants down to expose his junk*

Larry: Oh yeah, we are definitely out of here. *leaves with everyone else*

Harry: NO WAIT! DON'T GO! *sobs* Oh no! No no Nooooo! *growls* We need to get that stupid crack head back! Our current script writer is capsizing the integrity of my business!

*Fapping noises*

Steak Guy: I'll be done in a minute!

Paige: You can take my car!

(Trio get inside the car)

Robin: Harry, do you know how to drive?

Harry: Nope. *steps on gas*

Manny: We're coming for you, Dad!

Harry: That's what she said!

~~~

Tony: And so you see Colin, basically technology is horse shit, including you.

Colin: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Very interesting.

(Trio drive through the wall near Tony and Colin)

Robin: Harry, WHY would you take the drivers seat IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!?!?!

Harry: Oh I lied. I know how to drive. I was just really hoping a paraplegic was on the other side of that wall.

Colin: What is the meaning of this!?

Manny: We're on a quest to find my dad, Roy!

Tony: Roy? Why would you want anything to do with that mental case?!

Harry: I need a decent partner again!

Robin: I need PEACE and QUIET!

Manny: ...

Ronin: *slaps Manny*

Manny: Oh! Uhhh- I need him to shave my ass.

Harry: We don't have any leads. As a matter of fact, uhhh- I guess it's kinda senseless driving around aimlessly.

Robin: Yeah didn't really think this through, did we?

Tony: I know where he is.

Manny: YOU DO!?

Tony: Yeah. Saw him a few months leaving the E.R. when I came in from my routine alcohol poisoning.

He was heading off to the mountains, muttering something about getting lost. Figured it some spiritual shit.

Harry: Well, what are we waiting for? Off to the mountains!

Trio: Yeah! *leaves*

Tony: Now where was I?

Colin: Hmmm seems you have a case of forget a whosie whatis.

Tony: Are you sure you're a computer?

Colin: Sometimes I like to snort WD-40.

(Meanwhile at the mountains)

Manny: Daaaaad!

Robin: Rooooy!

Harry: Where are ya, ya asshole?!

Robin: Rooooy!

Manny: It's no use! I guess I'll have a butt jungle forever!

Unless-

Robin: No.

Harry: Well I guess it's back to creating 'Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared'.

Robin: Why would you call it that? Who wouldn't want to be hugged if they were scared?

Manny: Well, this one's for you, buddy. *takes out bubble wand and screams into it, creating a huge bubble* DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

(The bubble pops and it echo's Manny's yell across the whole town)

Johnson: There's that voice again! I just can't escape it! *cocks gun and points it to his head*

(Back to the trio)

Manny: *sighs* Let's go.

(As the trio starts to leave, they hear footsteps behind them)

Trio: *Gasp*

Roy: Who the fuck is yelling at this time of day?! I'M TRYING TO WATCH REAL HOUSE WIVES!!!

Manny: Dad! There you are! Why do you sound different?

Roy: Ahahahahaha! Oh MANNY, I have bronchitis!

Harry: That's really what were going with, huh?

Roy: I was asking the doctor over and over and over and over how to get rid of it and he told me to take a hike. So that's what I did.

Manny: Wow.

Roy: Yeah so he was completely useless.

Manny: So does this mean you'll be in more fics now?

Roy: *long over exaggerated laugh* No.

(The End.)