The start of the start / Richard Madden

Ouch

When we got to work it was 7:26 so we only had a few minutes to get to our areas so I gave Cillian a quick kiss on the cheek before walking away, I got my hair and make up done as well as changing into my outfit and headed to film first I had to do a solo with Tom then moved on to a group scene before moving on, we were filming until 4pm until we got off for our break as soon as we got off Richard walked over to me and grabbed my hand pulling me to the side slightly when we were Alone he said "please talk to me Amber I'm so sorry I don't know what I can do to make it up to you except say I'm sorry and I love you please forgive me" I huffed slightly before saying "Richard it's not just about saying sorry and moving on, you said what you said it's obviously what you think about me I'm already so insecure about my past you know that I know you didn't mean to say it but you did and I just don't know how to deal with that, the person I love the most in the world thinks I In some way wanted it ? It's the worst thing to have even happened to me Richard and I think about it every minute of every day and to know that you are thinking about it to and especially think that about it breaks my heat Richard" his face softened slightly before he threw his head back slowly and said "I know, I know I messed up so bad I know that but trust me Amber I don't think that I didn't mean that I was just angry and jealous and I hate my self for getting that way I'm sorry Amber" I let a solo tear roll down my cheek before I got the chance to say anything else we got called back on to film, we were filming until 11pm so when we finished we were all very tired when we walked away Richard again walked towards me and said "can you come home tonight we can talk properly I miss you please Amber" I thought about it for a few seconds before I nodded and said "okay I'll come home and we can talk" he sighed in relief before saying "okay good let's go get your things."

When we got home it was almost midnight so I changed into something more comfortable and sat down on the bed, Richard sat in front of me and said "okay let's talk, be angry at me shout at me" I turned to him and says "I'm not going to shout at you, we are adults we can get through this. I'm just really upset about what you said before" we managed to talk through the argument for the next hour I decided to forgive Richard because I understand we all say stuff we don't mean when we are angry and truthfully I missed him I just wanted to try to forget it and move on. After the hour was up Richard stood up and says "I'm going to go change" I nodded at him showing I heard what he says before I climbed into bed when Richard got back he lay down beside me and wrapped his arm around me and said "can I take you on a date tomorrow it's our last day before Hogmanay?" I looked at him before saying "sure if we finish work early enough where do you want to go ?" He thought about it for a minute before replying "dinner and a few drinks ?" I shook my head slightly and said "we will be drinking on Hogmanay and probably New Year's Day I don't want to drink three days in a row." Richard nodded and said "dinner and a nice drive ?" I agreed that it sounded good and we agreed to do that the following day.

Richard picked his phone up and read a few of his texts before turning to me and saying "my mum wants us to FaceTime her is that okay ?" I nodded and sat up fixing my hair a little before I heard the ringing sound of his phone, She had called to show us something his niece made so we comments on it and spoke for a while before his mum had to go so we said our goodbyes before getting comfy again. Richard instantly lay down and put his hand on his own chest before saying "I can't wait to have kids you know" I smiled at him and turned over so I was also laying on my back and I said "me either a little cute baby that's yours to love forever I can't wait to have that" he smiled and looked at me before saying "do you think we will have kids together I know we have only been dating a little under a year but do you think we will in the future?" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I hope so you would make a great dad" he smiled back at me and kissed my lips before saying "you would make a great mum and a great wife" I smiled back at him but inside I was internally screaming I've never gotten serious in a nice relationship where we spoke about going the full way and I especially haven't ever Felt so in love with someone that I wanted to spend every day with them for the rest of my life safely; it was as if I had completely forgotten about the whole argument yesterday and just moved to a perfect place in our relationship again. I looked into Richards eyes before saying "I'm completely obsessed with the colour of your eyes" he giggled lightly before saying "I'm completely obsessed with you" I scoffed slightly ignoring him before he sat up and pulled me round so he was hoovering over the top of me and he giggled and kissed my nose before saying again "completely" more serious this time.