Liv & Kuolema

V

As the evening wore on, all sense of discomfort was eventually washed away both by time and the tranquil pond serving as the picnic's setting. In fact, by the time they were finishing up their meal, Berwald was thinking seriously about letting himself enjoy the cool water of the pond just like Timo had been. Sure, it was risky, but he knew how to be careful. 

He must've been watching the water for too long, because for the first time in several minutes, Timo spoke up. "Hey, Ber?" He started, his voice soft so it wouldn't disturb the calm setting. Berwald looked up, and the Finn continued. "Can I ask you something? I hope it's not too personal."

"'Course you can," Berwald replied without a moment's hesitation, though he did have to stop himself from adding that Timo was allowed to ask him anything he wanted. Since he liked him so much, he wanted to be more open, but he didn't want to have to shut him down if his questions got too close to being about Berwald's curse. 

Timo looked the Swede over for a few seconds, and in that short moment that he was being watched, Berwald couldn't help but notice how nicely the late evening sunlight brought out the other's eyes and the lilac highlights on his outfit. He wanted to say as much, but when the Finn spoke up, the thought quickly left him. 

"Is there a reason why you're always holding yourself back? And am I interfering by being your friend?" Timo asked slowly, his words clearly thought out for awhile before being spoken. 

Berwald bit his lip. As much as he wanted to tell Timo he wasn't interfering at all, he didn't know how much he could say without telling the whole truth.

His emotions must've shown through though, because before he could speak, Timo said, "It's alright, Ber. You don't have to answer." With that, he brought his knees to his chest and watched the waterfall. 

"No," the Swede said abruptly, forcing his thoughts into a good enough reply. "It's not you, it's-" He shook his head, cursing himself for not having Matthias' gift of natural conversation. "We're friends. But don't touch me."

"Don't touch you, hmm?" Timo repeated, causing Berwald's heart to drop into his stomach. Not only did he hate how that came out, a nervous thrill overcame him when he didn't know if Timo would ever do just the opposite of what he wanted. The Finn's smile didn't give away many of his thoughts. 

But soon Berwald could relax when Timo straightened out, using his arms to support himself while he kicked lazily at the water. "If I promise I won't ever touch you ever, will you please come into the water with me? It does feel really nice," he remarked.

With a short huff, the Swede decided he'd cave in. Timo's word meant more to him than the promises of a lot of other people. He got to work taking off his boots and rolling up his cuffs, but paused when he looked at his gloved hands. He'd never forgive himself if he ended up hurting Timo. But the Finn was already in the water again, happily walking around. 

'Here goes nothing,' Berwald thought to himself as he took off his gloves, then pushed himself up and stepped into the water. 

Timo was right. It did feel nice. Nicer still in the company of a friend. 

The Finn looked up and his smile widened once he caught sight of Berwald. "You did it!" He cheered, bringing a reluctant smile to the Swede's face. It pleased him to see that he had made his friend so happy with something that seemed to be pretty simple. Sure, it was hard for him, but Timo didn't know that. He was just glad to have his friend join him in the water, and that was cute.

At seeing that he was being waved over, Berwald came closer until he was a comfortable metre away from Timo. The water was deeper here- despite him rolling them up, his trousers were close to getting wet -but he didn't mind. The two didn't say anything, only watching the small waterfall before them with a sense of awe. Sure, Berwald had visited this place many times, but it never failed to bring him the same sense of peace.