Moonlit Craters

(2.1) The First Time

Music: Eminem, Lose Yourself

Posted: 1.5.2020

*****

By late morning Stella found herself back in her studio apartment. Having been gone for a week, the air in it smelled stale. She didn't bother searching her fridge for food, there was none to be found at this point. At best, her almond milk was days from expiring. Chances were it already had.

Closing her eyes, she savored the first moments of home. She could hear the city, thrumming fourteen floors beneath her, a TV elsewhere in the apartment complex, her refrigerator cycle. She smiled. The familiar, comforting sounds of home were welcome.

As she relished these thoughts, others swarmed her. Soon, she flew over to her sink. A sigh of relief escaped when she confirmed that yes, she still had running water. All of the lights flicked on, comforting her that nothing happened.

The medical journals, left in haphazard stacks on her coffee and dining tables, were in the same order. A small layer of dust rested on top of them. Her notebook remained open, a pen laying on top of it. It still marked the place she left off reading in the article.

Her bookshelves, stocked mostly with romance books, showed no signs of disruption. She ran her fingers over the spines, embossed titles telling her what sort of smut they contained. As if able to sense her turbulent emotions, the books reached out to her and offered their inner calm. Satisfied that her place was as it should be, Stella traded yesterday's clothes for something better suited for meeting family.

Family that hadn't wanted her.

Family that didn't have a choice now.

Fuck them.

But not Luna. Luna had no part to play in this. She was as much a victim of their issues as Stella was.

Jeans replaced yoga pants. Yesterday's tank and hoodie were replaced with clean ones. She put on her nicer sneakers.

A quick look in the one mirror she allowed herself to have and she took the hoodie off. He didn't deserve for her to dress up, to look nice for him.

But, he needed to know what he missed out on. She would have made a fantastic granddaughter. Stella would have provided for him in his age and illness; she certainly made the money for it.

She kept her grey tank and jeans on. Selecting a pale blue blouse instead, she left the top half unbuttoned. Not like it added the appearance of boobs to her appearance, but that was a battle she knew she lost long ago. She replaced her running shoes with a pair of brown flats.

Just to elevate it, to run it home that she was a very successful young woman, no thanks to him, she added in her diamond necklace. The snowflake pattern may have been out of season, but it was a strong reminder of the five years and eight months she'd been sober. Adding in a pair of rose gold hoops and an Alex and Ani bracelet completed the look.

With a self-assured smile, Stella felt better about the meeting tonight. She looked young, pretty, and successful. Everything she wanted to show him she was.

Bastard.

She decided to add on a layer of makeup. First-hand experience taught her that her offense, no matter how good it was, was nothing without defenses.

A layer of foundation hid her freckles from sight; erasing one of the few traces she thought came from her Montgomery ancestors. It was a trait she shared with Luna.

That and their high cheekbones. Without seeing him, she wasn't sure how much of her appearance came from her mother's family. She hoped none of it.