Nailing it! The ultimate guide for surviving this lifetime

Forgiveness

You have control over only TWO things in your life: Attitude and Effort

We can't heal without forgiveness. What you do not allow to pass through you will ultimately define you. One of the keys to happiness is forgiveness. You have to be able to release and let go of things that do not make you strong so you can live at a higher level and actually experience joy.

The formula for success is simple, you always forgive. And, you always forget, once, is all you have to promise. Clean slate, fresh start. It is when the behavior becomes a repetition that we need to start paying attention because we know that patterns do not lie. Forgive again, always forgive. And, then put up the appropriate boundary. If you want to be forgiven for your words, actions or behaviors, you should practice forgiving others.

IT IS OKAY TO MISS SOMETHING AND NOT WANT IT BACK. Forgiveness and second chances are not synonymous.

Remember the LESSON. Every ounce of pain teaches us something about ourselves.

Always forgive. Always. But there is no required length of time in which forgiveness must occur. Take all of the time you need. Just communicate that you need time and you are taking active steps to get to forgiveness. And, know that while you are actively trying to get to forgiveness, if someone doesn't want to wait, they have a right to leave. If any person wants to opt out, let them go. They might be doing you a favor. Forgive them and don't spend another second on it. If you are actively trying to get to forgiveness and time you need is not respected, it's the wild card Asterix. It completes any pattern. You now have sufficient knowledge to know this person will likely repeat the pattern again.

Any action that deals with forgiveness must start with you. We spend so much of our time "expecting" things from other people and then we stand there with our arms up wondering why other people suck. I am much more interested in why I suck, when I suck, and how can not repeat the same way I suck. We punish ourselves when we make a mistake. Because we're human. And, we punish others, too, both consciously and unconsciously, even more than we punish ourselves. Pull out that best friend living inside of you, the one that has compassion and kindness for you. The one that always forgives you, and start there. Let's say you've made a mistake in your relationship, because you're human and you're not perfect. If there is guilt associated with that mistake, you are probably unconsciously sabotaging yourself and your relationship as a way of punishment. You may feel that you are unworthy of happiness and fulfillment because of the mistake that was made.

Take a moment to reflect on a past mistake that you may regret.

Are there any mistakes you made that you continue to beat yourself up for?

If so, what are they? Is there a pattern or are they scattered and random?

Are you actively punishing yourself for it?

Is it something that is creating problems in your daily life or interfering with long-term goals?

Are you directly or indirectly punishing others for it?

Are any of the following present? Procrastination, self-medication, comfort addictions such as food, or physical harm?

Your guilt is not going to undo what has happened. Even more importantly, holding onto this pain is causing further pain in your life. It is okay to let it go now. Release yourself from the burden of carrying it with you. Forgive yourself. It's already passed. It's over. It's okay now.

Did you know that animals pay once for each mistake? Humans pay over and over in a sick-cycle carousel of judgement and we do it by choice. Not anymore. Once. Once is enough. If you want to be forgiven, then practice the same standard. Once is enough for you. Once is enough for others. After you forgive yourself, forgive them. Aren't they deserving of the same gift they just gave you? Harboring resentment towards another only build walls. It makes true intimacy impossible. It prevents the love that you desire from flowing to you and from you. Most importantly, holding onto resentment for a past injustice will not undo the experience and does nothing today but cause you pain and deteriorate your relationship. It is okay to let it go now. Seriously, you can let it go.