just saying | l.h

o n e

i'm literally so mad rn bc laptop computer shut down and deleted everything i just wrote and now i have to rewrote omg also im gonna be adding songs i want and putting the video on the side k yay

☹ luke ☹

 "There's blood on my hands, but the killers not my enemy. It's all for the sake of love, It's all for you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs to my favorite Sleeping With Sirens song, mostly because I wanted to let out the anger I had bottled up inside but also because I loved this song way too much. Kellin's angelic voice was blasting so loud, I could barely hear myself think.

Okay, okay, let's talk about Kellin Quinn for a second. I'm definitely not gay, but damn I'd bang him in a heart beat. Wouldn't you? Of course you would.

I hoped that my neighbors wouldn't come over and yell at me for blasting music so loud. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole neighborhood could hear. I shrugged it off carelessly and continued to jump and dance stupidly on my bed in my socks, my hair a mess, my hair stuck to my forehead with sweat.

This was supposed to keep my mind off of Heather, but it was only making me think of her even more. I hated how I could somehow find parts of her in every song I listened to, it sucked. She was like the itch that was on my back, the gum that was stuck under my shoe, the horrors of the past, the chill that haunted the room, the creaking of the floorboards. She annoyed me, and I didn't know whether I liked it or not. 

I never thought it'd hurt this bad, liking someone so much, but they're really couldn't give one fuck about you. She still made my heart do weird things, and my voice come out all shaky when she talked to me. I huffed out a breath, unplugging the speakers, and shutting my laptop. 

I flopped backwards onto my bed, my arms thrown up above my head, thinking of how stupid I was. I'd rather fight with her than laugh with someone else, I'd rather have her punch me in the face than have someone give me a blowjob. It was like she was eating me alive, and I didn't even try to do anything about it.

 I pushed myself up, heading to my tiny modern kitchen. I shuffled through the short hall, raking my hand through my messy hair, leaving it messier than it was from the start. I swiped out my phone from my back pocket, scanning the time; 8:49. I decided to look through facebook for no good reason, really. I tapped the app, and my account was already logged in. 

I sighed, leaning against the counter, aimlessly looking through my awfully boring newsfeed, swiping the screen upwards with my thumb. I was about to log out when I came across a picture that Heather had posted a few minutes ago, my heart jumping at the sight of her name on my screen.

She was sat on Alex's lap, smiling her adorable open-teeth smile, her eyes were a paler a blue than usual. Not that I looked at her eyes every chance I got, not that at all. Alex was winking idiotically, his tongue sticking out, and his fingers formed into the famous west side sign. I read the caption quickly.

Party tonight, gonna be insane! Everyone come over! (: x 

My phone began to ring, the photo disappearing, and Ashton's name flashing on my screen. "What do you want?" I sighed, breathing out of my nose. "Well, hello to you too," He chuckled obnoxiously. "Anyways, I was wondering if you come to this party with me? Michael and Calum always ditch me," I could practically see his pouting lips through the phone. "You're not talking about Heather's party, right?" He was silent. "Ash, Alex'll be there, I'll probably end up ripping his throat out."

"Come on, Luke. Just aviod him or something, and you can eye fuck Heather the whole time like you did last time you went to one of her parties," He laughed loudly, feeling the heat in my cheeks rise. "You saw that?" I asked, scratching the back of my neck. 

 "I did, yes. I was actually starting to worry because you looked like you were about ready to pounce on her," As he said that, I smirked, knowing that he already knew that it was true. "You know you really gotta make a move on her, Luke," I rolled my eyes, Ash and I had talked about this too much. 

"She has a boyfriend,"

"Ugh, he's douche," He scoffed, he was right. Nobody liked Alex (apart from Heather), and I really couldn't see what Heather saw in him. He was a straight up liar. 

"Tell me something I don't know," I murmered, mentally punching Alex in the face. 

"Heather thinks you're hot," Ashton blurted, sounding like he had covered his hand over his mouth after that. 

"W-what?" 

"Nothing,"

"You just-"

"No I didn't,"

"But-" 

"No,"

"Asht-"

"Be ready in twenty, bye," With that, he hung up. I groaned, not wanting to do anything but scroll through tumblr, and eat my own body weight in strawberry flavored oreos. I wasn't excited to go to the party, I didn't want to wake up with a killer hang over. I shook my head, and told myself I would have fun. Hopefully. 

I made my way to my bathroom, having the quickest shower in the universe. I dried myself before wrapping it around my waist, heading back to my room. Dropping onto my knees, I fished out a red and black flannel. I buttoned it up slowly, rolling up the sleeves, and paired it with a pair of my usual ripped skinny jeans.

I laced up my black high top converse, not bothering with my hair so I placed a red snapback backwards on my head to contain my messy ass hair, I also left on the wristbands that I had put on this morning. I looked at myself in the full-body mirror that was in the corner of my room, pleased with how I looked. I fiddled with my wristbands as I scrolled through tumblr, waiting for Ashton. 

I heard a loud honk outside my tiny one-person house, and immediently knew it was Ashton. I grabbed my jacket, and wallet before locking my house, walking down the path in the dark to Ashton's shitty car. "Hey hottie," Ash winked and I fake gagged, laughing afterwards. "Hey Ash," I replied, smiling. 

"Excited?" 

"Nope." 

-

i wasn't sure where to end it bc i wanted to start next chapter with them walking into the party so yeah hope you liked it :-))) also dedicated to briana bc she is rad and her stories are great check them out and vote and follow her and stuff k

pls vote and comment ily 

-s h a n n y n