Love and Loss

Part 4

The next few shifts were hard, she wanted Jake more and more every single day. She found herself longing for his touch, his presence, the feeling of him inside of her. She felt guilty but couldn't help herself. He would try to avoid her, if he didn't then she would be taken from the world and kept in his. That one day changed both of them forever.

Sara realized that what she was missing wasn't intimacy or excitement, it was the person she was sharing her life with. She remembered the pain Jake had once caused but wanted to forgive him. However, the love they had still lingered with her even nearly a decade later, that had to account for something, right? Then, one night Sara and her husband had the final fight, she told him it was over, she could not pretend she loved him anymore and kicked him out. The next day she called Jake.

Jake found himself longing for Sara more than ever, he didn't even think that was possible. She was the one who got away, the love of his life, he would never forgive himself for letting her go. He swore to himself years ago that if he ever got the chance, he would never let her go again. She was his greatest love and biggest weakness. When Sara called him the next day, he was elated and shocked at the same time.

"Jake, I have to be honest, I kicked my husband out. I can't pretend anymore, I'm too unhappy and refuse to live my life this way."

"Sara, please tell me this wasn't because of me."

"No, of course not. However, I have to be completely honest with you. I," there was a long pause and deep breath, "I need to talk to you in person, please."

"Okay, I'll be there in just a few. You know I will always be there."

Her children were with her mom for a few days, she needed some time to herself to process what was going on with her life. She had to figure out what she was going to tell her children, how they were going to process everything. However, she knew she was making the right choice no matter what. She walked outside, a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, he was pulling up as she was putting her smoke out.

Jake walked up and all he could think about was how beautiful she was, he'd been waiting on this day but didn't know what to expect. When she looks up at him as he's walking towards her house, his heart drops to the pit of his stomach. She invites him inside, he must control his urges at this moment.

They sit down on the couch, "Jake, this isn't your fault, let me preface this. Our times together were made of dreams, they're what I think of when I need my release. However, you were NOT the reason for this choice, you just helped me open my eyes. As shitty as it may sound, I've loved you for longer than anyone will ever know. I need to heal, and this is a lot to ask, but could you possibly wait for me? Please?"

Jake was shocked, she doesn't allow herself to be vulnerable, she never has but he just let it all out. The last question made him think she was crazy if she had to ask, of course he'd wait on her, he had his second chance and would never let that go. "Sara, I will always be there for you in whatever way you need. I have to be honest myself," he took a deep breath because this was it, he had to tell her and get it off of his chest. "I've always loved you, you're in my dreams, I hear your laugh when you aren't even around. Just the thought of our intimacy makes me go insane. As for your final question, yes, I will wait for you. In the midst of waiting I will show you that it's okay to trust me and I will be the best friend you need."

Sara was taken aback, she wasn't expecting that answer, he broke down a little part of his wall for her. They just sat there in silence for a few moments and a wave of need washed over her. She looked at him, glanced over his relaxed body and her eyes locked on the bulge he always tried to hide in his pants. She put her legs over his lap and found something to watch on television.

Jake's mind was racing with emotion, with a near primal instinct to ravish her but he didn't want her to think that's the only reason he came to her. She needed his presence, he knew this. He caught her glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, then those long porcelain legs came. They were resting on his melanin rich lap, the differences they had made him love her more. When she turned the television on, his want for her vanished, "she didn't want or need this" he thought.

They sat there for a while, watching some movie that neither of them will remember. Her mind racing with thoughts of pure and raw passion. His mind hoping for a future with her. She jumped up, she had to go to the bathroom. He sat there, looking around at what her life consisted of in the living room: photos of her children, EMS stuff, her love for cooking showing from the kitchen, and the smell of fresh linen coming from her wax warmer. Oh, warm wax on her pale skin, his mind began to wander.

She came back, she had changed. The shirt she had on looked familiar: a thin black shirt, tattered and worn, hanging off her breasts, the crease of her ass showing from the bottom. It was his, the only thing she had never returned almost a decade prior. The look she gave him as she got closer was all he needed to see.