Hope ~Yato x Reader AU~

Chapter 21: Tidal Wave

**Contains sensitive material.**

The silence is thick.

It is thick and weighing heavily on me, its heft trying to barrel down on me. It is almost unbearable and smothering, suffocating me as I swallow my breath. My heart is racing against my sternum, the force causing my pulse to strum in my ears. My body is trembling, my leg bouncing as I chew on my bottom lip. Anticipation and dread consuming me.

Anxious, I glimpse up. Kaito is standing in the corner, one of his hands resting on his hip as the other massages his temples. His eyes are closed, his lips sucked together as his brows draw together. He is thinking. He is thinking and he is thinking hard.

I tighten my hands into fists, swallowing, "K-Kaito, listen –"

"When?" he interrupts, bringing his gaze to me. "When were you going to tell me? Were you ever going to tell me?"

I close my mouth. I don't know how to answer that...I don't want to answer that. I'm almost scared to answer that. Kaito isn't a temperamental man, but given the severity of this topic, I wouldn't be surprised if his emotions swayed toward that reaction. After all, given the circumstances, he has a right to do just that.

"Y/N, please...I need answers. I need to...I need to know the truth," he says, a weakness pulling at his tone. "Please."

I dig my nails into my palms. "W-where do you want to start?"

"Well, let's start from the obvious," he sighs. "When...when was this taken?"

I chew my lips. "About three years ago...give or take."

He clenches his jaw as his muscles flex in his arms. This answer is a difficult one to hear...but I already know it's about to become even more difficult. This revelation will only spiral down from here.

"Three years," he repeats. "Three years ago, I moved to England. Did you find out after that or...or before?"

I weakly answer, "Before."

His eyebrows shoot up. "You knew before I left? You knew before I left? Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me? Why—wait...did...did my father know?"

I close my eyes. I don't want to answer that. I don't want to tell him. Even though I still harbor some rage toward Dr. Itchi and my parents, I don't want to pin Kaito against his own father.

"Kaito," I breathe.

"Did my father know?" he reiterates lowly. "Did he know? Did he know, Y/N?"

I bring my eyes to his and sigh, "Yes. Yes, he knew."

Now he closes his eyes and drops his head, cupping his face with his hands. He is upset. He is very, very upset. I can sense his emotions bubbling in the atmosphere.

"He knew," he says into his hands before peeking up at me. "He knew. My father knew before I ever did. Why? Why did he know and not me? And why did he never say anything?"

I'm a horrible person. I'm a horrible, horrible person. I've thought that all this time, but now I'm beginning to believe it. Because of my recklessness, everyone will suffer.

"Y/N," Kaito says shakily. "Y/N, what are you not saying? What happened? Tell me."

I shake my head. "No. Kaito, I don't think this is a good –"

"Tell me!" he yells.

So many emotions are floating at the surface of his eyes. Anger. Frustration. Confusion. Pain. They all drift, justifying his outburst.

I fidget with my fingers and drop my stare. "When I found out...I wanted to tell you. I was going to. I was going to tell you, but my parents found out before I could." I bring my stare back to his. "They intercepted, telling Dr. Itchi. They were so mad and angry and, and...and they saw me as a disappointment. I was the L/N family disappointment." My voice is wavering. "A disgrace to my family. And my parents...they cared more about reputation than anything else...including Dr. Itchi's and yours."

He furrows his brows. "My reputation? What did that have to do with anything?"

"Because you wanted to be a doctor," I blurt. "You wanted to be a doctor like your dad. You were supposed to graduate and go off to university to study medicine. You were supposed to follow your dreams and be something." My voice is shaking, the tears threatening to spill. "You were supposed to be something, and you can't be something with that burden pinned on you." The first tear falls. "They were protecting you. They were all protecting you."

At this, I feel my barriers burst. The tears begin to glide down my cheeks as my chest grows heavy. All the pain I've been harboring these last three years is suddenly crashing down on me. Everything I thought I could just keep buried is suddenly overwhelming me.

Tears falling, I sob, "They were all just trying to protect you. They all wanted to see you succeed. That was all."

At this, his eyes soften as he approaches me. He hesitates but rests a hand on my shoulder. His touch is tender and warm, his body heat radiating against me as he pulls me into a secure hug. He wraps his arms around my waist, resting his lips on the crown of my head.

He inhales before breathing, "They weren't protecting me...they were all just protecting themselves. Your parents, my father...all any of them did was protect themselves. They left me in the dark and did what they saw fit." He pauses, his jaw clenching as he most likely thinks before asking, "I...I know this may be a lot to ask, but what did they do? Or rather...what did they make you do?"

As if I didn't want to answer him earlier, now I wish I were mute. This conversation...this topic is not one I discuss often. In fact, I've never talked about this with anyone. Even after it was recommended to my parents that I should, I didn't. I was never given that opportunity. And to be talking about this with him of all people...this is not how I saw everything going.

"Y/N, please," he says softly. "I know this is hard. I get that, but please...I need to know what happened." He lifts my chin, his deep eyes meeting mine. "Please. Please, just tell me."

I bite my bottom lip, fidgeting with my fingers. My heart is pounding against my ribs, my pulse strumming inside my veins. The anxiety is building, but the more I look into his desperate eyes, the more I know that this is only fair. After all, what I lost that day wasn't mine alone. It was his, too. It was every bit of his as it was mine.

Trembling, I sniffle, "Abortion. I was forced to have an abortion."

**Bello all my sweet lovelies! So, I understand that a topic such as abortion can be touchy and sensitive, which is why there's a disclaimer at the top. Just so we're clear, this isn't to start a debate between pro-life and pro-choice folks. This is strictly a work of fiction. That said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs, but let's remain respectful of one another. Just be kind and remember this is just a story. That's all. That said, quite the shocker, huh? Were you surprised? Feel free to let me know! As always, thank you so much for everything! Y'all are amazeballs! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. "Riptide" by Sick Puppies.