Little Red | ✔️

A Temporary Fix

Ariana's P.O.V

Walking into my apartment, I couldn't believe the day I had. Leaning against the door, I slide down the door slowly, thinking about everything that happened today. I was a train wreck of emotions at this point.

I didn't want to want him. I shouldn't want him. He and I would never work. I would never fit into his world.

"Hey, mama. What's u- Oh shit. Mamas, what happened?" Ash asks as she slides down into the floor next to me.

"I shouldn't want him the way that I do, Ash. We're too different. But today, there was this feeling. The same feeling that was there yesterday. And with every touch, it just kept intensifying and getting stronger. And I can't take it, Ash. I feel like I'm going insane. I shouldn't crave him like this when barely anything has happened between us," I say.

"Honey, slow down. What are you talking about? Who shouldn't you want, but do want? And what feeling?" Ash asks. Of course, she was confused. Even though she's my best friend, I still hadn't told her that Ryder and I had been talking every day before work.

"I'm going to tell you something, and you have to promise not to flip," I say.

"Ari?" she asks. 

"Promise me," I say. 

"Fine. I promise," she says.

"Ryder and I have been talking for over a month now. And yesterday, when he insulted me I threw water in his face and he pinned me to my car. And there was this feeling inside me that didn't want him to stop. And then today, he wanted me to prove that he didn't have an effect on me, and he touched me. His hand was running up and down my thigh slowly and his thumb pulled my bottom lip down slightly. And when he kissed my jaw I didn't want him to stop. Ash, what is wrong with me?" I ask, pleading with my eyes for her to help me figure out why I was like this.

"You- you WHAT?" she practically yells standing up quickly.

"Ash, you promised you wouldn't freak out," I say quietly.

"Right. But Ari, this is Ryder. Ryder Jackson Emerson. As hot as he is, he's no good for you," she says.

"Don't you think I know that, Ash? I have tried so hard to get him out of my head. But today? Today pushed me over the edge. I'm falling for him and I don't want to, Ash," I say, tears spilling from my eyes.

You ever wanted something so much, but you know it's bad for you, so you try and you try not to want it, but that need for it only grows stronger? Well if you have, that's me right now.

It sucks you know. Wanting something so badly. Wanting to give in so bad to the temptation. You tell yourself over and over and over again that it's bad for you. That you'll survive without it. But deep down, you know you can't. You know you won't. And it scares you to death. Because that thing you want so badly will only hurt you in the end.

"You see, this is what happens when you haven't had dick in a while. One night stands exist for this very reason. So you don't sulk over a guy that is no good for you," Ash says, turning on the T.V.

"I am not having a one night stand. They may work for you, but I am not about that," I say.

"Well, what do you want me to tell you, Ari? Because it seems like you have the hots for Ryder. And that's not something that is going to go away," she says.

"There's no way to stop the way I feel?" I ask her.

"I don't know, Ari. I would have to think about that. But for right now, you need ice cream, so c'mon, get up," she says pulling me up from the floor. "Good. Now sit your ass in this chair and I'll get you some ice cream. We have Vanilla and Rum Raisin. Which one you want?" She asks. Anyone watching me at this moment would think I was crazy because as soon as she said that, I started crying.