Hamartia [Peter Parker]

Chapter 13 - Real Hero

"Marty, sirens!" Shiloh yells and only a half a second passes before loud and booming sirens fill the room just as her hands slip and her legs give out. Peter's arm immediately push the air from her body once more, this time in a hard and fast squeeze.

The sirens reverberate across the room and Peter's eyes shoot open, his heart beating a thousand beats per second, arms aching with every passing second as his grip doesn't loosen. It takes him those few seconds to realize that he wasn't fighting off Mysterio again, no one was dying, none of it was real and when he realized it, a truck full of guilt hit him at what felt like a hundred miles per hour.

Shiloh's gasping in his arms, the sirens are blaring, his grip is tight and Peter's eyes are wide while he finally lets go, moving himself away from her so fast, he falls off the bed. Peter's back hits Shiloh's desk, his knees bent near his chest while his heart races and his eyes watch Shiloh.

It's one thing to intentionally hurt her or scare her but this, they were good. In a good place. They've been in a good place but then Peter has one of those damn dreams with the blood and villains and death and then this happens. It's like he's just taken a hundred steps back because he hurt her and he scared her while sleeping. Even in his sleep, he's not safe. She's not safe.

"I-I-I'm s-" Peter stutters, head shaking as his eyes glass over, staring at Shiloh in pure shock.

"Go away!" Shiloh yells, sirens still blaring over them.

Now isn't the time for apologies, he could have killed her. It's four in the damn morning and he could have killed her. Again. She doesn't want his apology right now. She's fucking scared of him right now and his spider senses should tell him that. He should just know that with how close they are, or are supposed to be that is.

"B-but I didn't....I'm sorry. I..."

The fear of it all happening right now and the very thought that this could be a regular occurrence if they were to pick up sleeping together on a regular or even semi-regular basis, even if it's just accidentally falling asleep on the couch together, starts to fade and be replaced with pure and unadulterated anger.

What part of go away doesn't he understand? Heart? Pounding. Can he suddenly not see when someone needs to be left alone?

"Peter, go!" She screams back at him, her blood boiling with every second.

She's fighting two sides of herself. One side knows it's a nightmare. It's not her, it's not even him, it's just a nightmare and it happens. Sometimes those things just happen and it's not the best situation but it's an accident. It happens and she understands so it should be okay but there is this other part that is hollering and turning a vibrant and furious shade of red because how many times does she have to get hurt when being around Peter?

Why's it always me?

And if it's not her getting physically injured, it's her friends or family. It's the people she cares the most about getting killed and hurt and it's because they're in relation to Peter and what kind of good is that? None. So, that side just screams and in the moment of four in the morning, the room's only light coming from the city lights, she lets that side win because sometimes it's easier to be mad rather than understanding.

Sometimes being understanding and caring and empathetic gets tiring. It is exhausting. All she ever does is try to be there for Peter and care for him, understand that none of this is his fault but fuck has it come at one hell of cost and she just needs to yell.

She needs to let her face turn red as she gets up from the bed and tosses her arm towards the door, finger pointing out as she screams for Peter to leave, looking down at him. Peter's bottom lip just quivers and he apologizes and tries to explain but Shiloh just keeps screaming over him and it's leaving him confused and broken and hurt. It leaves him feeling alone. Alone again, the same feeling he's felt for too long all coming back like a tidal wave pulling him under for the last time but he fights it this time. He keeps trying to explain, he doesn't want to leave.