The Faults In Our Brains

Chapter 16: [surprise!]

"I won!" He cheered referring to the race that was never decided upon.

"Come on lover boy, let's go inside." Blake commented and walked towards the building.

"Shut up." Tyler said and he followed behind.

I followed suit.

"I gotta take a shower first. You two can decide a movie to watch till then oh! And make some popcorn too." Tyler announced as soon as we entered the apartment and rushed towards his room.

I plopped down on the sofa, exhausted from all the studying at school and started scrolling through my phone. While Blake walked towards the kitchen.

"Water?" Came his voice a few minutes later and I saw his outstretched hand with a glass of water in it.

"Thanks." I said realising that I was in fact quite thirsty.

"Ila..." He spoke so softly but with a pained edge to his voice, "What's this?" He asked.

"What?" I looked towards him only to find him glancing towards my left arm? Holy shit! How the hell did my sleeve get pulled up?

I yanked my sleeve down and looked away. Ashamed. Scared. Terrified.

"It's nothing." I managed to croak through the lump forming in my throat.

"Nothing?" He was breathing heavily.

I didn't dare meet his eyes, too afraid of what I might see in them.

"Why?" He asked.

Well, I don't know. Maybe because....I want to die? I thought bitterly.

"Blake please just forget about it. It's nothing." I quaked looking anywhere but his eyes.

"Forget about it? Tell me Ila! how do I pretend it's nothing when- when I know you do this to yourself?" He asked.

"Then kill me because I can't do this anymore." I blurted, finally meeting his eyes and I could have sworn I saw something crack in them.

"Do what?" He whispered.

Live.

"Nothing." I looked down, lips trembling, eyes brimming with tears that felt like lava.

"Just tell me, Goddamnit!" He said.

I remained silent. He took a ragged breath before continuing.

"Why can't you let me in?" He asked, "why do you always block me out?"

His voice was dripping with so much pain and sadness that I felt like my heart would cave in at any moment.

"I can't." I begged him to understand."It's too dark inside."

Silence.

"I let it slip." he said in a low voice, slouching against the couch, "I let it slip everytime, never pressured you to tell me anything even when I knew you weren't okay. But now, I can't. I can't see you do this to yourself?"

He ran his hand through his hair roughly and took in a deep breath.

"Why don't you understand?" He begged, "You're killing me."

I opened my mouth to say something, anything. But before I could do so, Tyler walked in the living room rubbing his hair dry with a towel. I straightened up and put a smile on my face instatly and so did Blake, for which I was very grateful.

"Everything okay?" Tyler asked with squinted eyes.

"Yeah." I said, "why?"

He shook his head as if dismissing a thought.

"Nothing. Who wants hot chocolate?" He asked cheerily.

"Is that even a question?" I said.

Tyler laughed at that.

"I'll be back with three heavenly cups of hot chocolate in a few." He said walking towards the kitchen.

"I'll help you." I got up quickly but was pulled by a hand on my wrist. Blake gave me a knowing look.

"We're not done talking about that." He spoke in a low tone so only I could hear him and then unclasped his hand from my wrist.

I walked towards the kitchen counter with a racing heart and a thousand merciless thoughts in my head.

"You okay? You look a little pale." Tyler asked when he saw me coming.

"Yeah." I said with what I assumed was a convincing smile but he looked unsure.

"Are you sure?" he asked trying to read my eyes or at least that's was I thought he was trying to do. I looked away abruptly.

"Yes, now hurry up and make hot chocolate." I spoke.

"Okay...." He said and turned towards the the counter mixing stuff.

_ _ _ _ _

[A/N: Ah! It's been a while since I've last uploaded. You can blame college and my terrible writer's block.

Anyway, here's another chapter. Hope you like it. Don't forget to vote and comment :) ]