When We First Met

Chapter Nine

I slammed my car door as loud as I can.  I looked at my side-view mirror and saw Andy together with Troy. I hated how this day turned out. But I hated it more on how “US” turned out.

I should have not let myself believe that there is a possibility between us. I hate myself for doing so.

I started the engine then left immediately without even bothering to look at any of the mirrors. My hands were tightly gripped on the stirring wheel. I hold on to it as I let all my emotions take over me. I kept on driving until I reached Andy’s place.

Shit! This is not my home.

As I saw the familiar architecture, I thought of Andy.

 I couldn’t imagine her going home alone.

I couldn’t imagine her going home with somebody, also.

I am selfish, I know.

With this thought in mind, I went back to school to fetch her. It’s the only way that I can ensure her safety.

When I was about to park my car, I saw her smiling.

All the pain in my heart went away but it came back as soon as I thought it could be.

She’s about to ride home with Troy. I didn’t even bother to park now. As I was about to head for the school gate, she saw me. I was sure enough because her eyes met mine for a second or so.

I looked away. Was it because of pride or was it because of shame?

I tried to shake all the pictures of Troy and Andy together throughout my way home.

But needless to say, I was unsuccessful.

As I arrived home, I noticed that my mom hadn’t arrive yet. Her parking slot is still vacant and I suppose I won’t be having dinner tonight. I don’t feel like eating.

I went to my room and removed my sneakers.

My mind was too occupied and my heart feels too empty. How am I supposed to turn this around? I want her back but if she wants Troy then I’ll let it be. Her happiness had been my major concern these past few weeks. I guess what makes her smile became my top priority and now, I don’t even think that I’ll be capable of doing that again. Not because I won’t but because she might not let me.

I lie down on my bed and have forgotten how soft and inviting it used to be. Everything seems to turn into black and white.  I stared at the ceiling and started to reminisce all the moments I had spent with her.

Maybe if I didn’t go to Sunset Boulevard last Valentine’s Day, I would have not hit her. She wouldn’t have amnesia. I would have never noticed her smile. That smile that drives me insane and gives me butterflies on my stomach. If it weren’t for that stupid love note, none of this should have happened. If it weren’t for that note, I should be comfortably sleeping with fully functional heart.

But the truth is, I don’t regret anything.

How I miss her smile.

A sudden thought came to me. I stood up and took my laptop.

I typed her URL without even staring at the keyboard. I’ve been viewing her blog since the first day I have met her so clicking the letters came naturally to my fingers.

It was already ten in the evening; usually she posts her daily happenings at around eight. I read all of her recent posts as if I didn’t know anything about her. I waited up until two in the morning but still she didn’t post anything.

 Is it supposed to be like this, being heartbroken by a person you learned to value a lot? I never thought that it feels this way. I thought the movies were just a little bit exaggerated. I guess, I was wrong.

I wasn’t able to sleep all night. I went to the kitchen at around seven and found my mom preparing breakfast.

“Did you do drugs?” my mom asked me looking a bit concerned.

“No, mom. I’m just tired.” I told her as I slid on to the sit nearest to me.

“Eat a lot my dear boy,” She said as she smiled at me then kissed my cheek. Somehow, my mom managed to make me feel better for a few minutes.

I ate breakfast with a blank expression on my face. I’m too lazy to taste the food. My mom hurried after breakfast and had gone to the hospital for her duty.

The first half of the day was painlessly agonizing. My thoughts were really messed up and I couldn’t absorb anything. It was really hard since I’ll only be seeing Ben and Jerry during lunch time. When the bell rang, I went to the cafeteria and saw them both seated on our place.

“Where’s Andy?” Ben asked as she examined the room for any signs of her.

“We had a fight,” I told her as I sat next to Jerry.

“That explains your panda eyes,” Jerry said as he stared at my face. Do I really look that miserable?

“I like that “panda eyes”,” Ben showed me a mirror and I saw dark circles that encircled my eyes. I do look miserable and hopeless.

“What happened?” Jerry sounded way too concerned than what he just meant it to be.

Before I even had the chance to answer, there she was walking with him. How I hated how she looks too pretty. Life can be so unfair, I thought to myself. Jerry didn’t bother to ask the question again because I think he knew what the problem was.

“Troy is hot,” Ben said as I looked at her with surprise.

“You know him?” I asked her as I tried to avoid the view of Troy’s triumphant moment against me.

“Yes. I do have a social life. He is very romantic,” she said as she takes another sip on her apple juice. Jerry and I look at her with confusion.

“The girls wanted poetry. He gave them poetry,” Ben took another chance of checking Troy out. She looked at me and I can see sympathy in her eyes and that made me feel sorrier for myself.  

“You’ve got some serious competition,” Jerry said as he managed to give me a light pat on my back.

“Brian is hotter than Troy but Troy is way more expressive than he is,” Ben may be lying on the first statement but I know that the last statement was feasible enough for me to even believe for myself. Andy likes guys who have a poet within them. I read it in her notebook. I’m not poetic and I cannot even simply tell her that I like her. How could I even make her believe that I do?

“All is fair in love and war.” Ben said as she bumped fists with Jerry because of the most appropriate words that she had just said.

I guess, she is right.

Maybe it’s about time for me to tell Andy how I really feel.

Maybe it’s about time for me to speak up.

Maybe it’s about time to win her back.

The only question now is HOW.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

I am planning to write Andy's POV since it will add spice to the story.

But if it will only be Brian's POV then the sudden twists of their fates will surely be more heartstopping since Andy will still have her mysterious aura on.

What do you think?

Thanks for the reads and votes! LOVELIES.

xo Zaar