Hendrix ✓

29 ★ Pushed away

     I trek deeper and deeper into the snow on my two legs, ready to sprint on four paws instead. It takes out my frustration in a way like no other. It's effective, and it's easy enough to do in the middle of rural Montana without anyone to spot me and make a scene. Virginia however? That's a different story entirely.

     Even though my senses are sharp, I still continue to check over my shoulder every few minutes. I'm on edge.

     Hendrix. I can't stop imaging her. What we shared last night, it was... I don't even know what it was. I haven't experienced anything remotely similar in all my time. It doesn't compare to any experiences I've had. It was phenomenal. Life altering.

     How can I ever come to regret something like that?

     When I'm far enough into the woods, I know I'm in the clear. No humans venture this far. I should be safe from prying, terrified eyes. Even though my mate it a mortal, it doesn't keep me from despising other humans like I did before. Most of them are still the bane of my existence.

     I shed my clothes like a dead second skin. The harsh elements don't have an effect on me, but I am antsy to shift.

     My whole being tears and crackles, parts forming and parts disappearing in mere seconds. Claws burst from my skin, a tail growing on my back end.

     It doesn't take long before I'm towering over the snow around me. A pleased chuff ripples from my chest. It's been too long since I've had the pleasure of becoming my other self, too long since I've felt paws beneath me.

     My mind is still a bit frantic, occupied with too many worries. I shove them aside for now. I propel myself into the forest, losing myself to the most primitive part of me.

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Hendrix POV

     I peek around the apartment curiously, calling out for Cedric as I stroll around on my bare feet. The floorboards are freezing under my toes. Chill bumps run up my legs.

     All I'm wearing is a blanket wrapped around my body. I clutch the soft fabric to my skin. Despite the cold floors, it's actually quite nice in here. He must've turned the heat up before he left.

     I know he left, because he's most definitely not here. I check the time, biting my lip when I realize that I have to get to work soon. I can't exactly sit around here and wait for him to come back, even though I want nothing more than to do just that.

     Last night was the best experience. I'm still not quite sure it happened. I want it to happen again, and again, and again.

     But a sensation of guilt bubbles up inside of me. I practically begged him, and he wanted to wait. I bite my lip so hard that it might fall off. Tears pool in my eyes.

     I hate myself.

     It's all I can think about as I pull on my clothes from yesterday.

      How could something so wrong feel so right? The way we connected. The things I felt. It highly exceeded my expectations, and I can't help but feel like I did something awful.

     And now I have this deep sensation, like I'm somehow irrevocably tied to Cedric somehow. It's odd. I'm not sure if it's because I handed my virginity over on a silver platter, or because I'm so incredibly in love with him.

     Probably a little of both.

     I shoot Miranda a quick text to ask for a ride, and she obliges. I once again curse myself for not being able to afford car insurance. It's just another bill that I can't deal with. If only I could win the lottery, maybe I'll ask Miranda to stop in at a gas station so I can buy a scratch off ticket.