Everything I Lost | Jensoo

Chapter 33

When Ella called Jisoo her mama I saw Mr. Yanni looking at me strange. He didn't know and I never told him. And for once I needed someone to talk to.

"Ella, go at the kitchen to see what gradma is cooking. Okay?"

"Yes, mommy."

She run again and I saw her little figure disappearing into the small but yet warm greek restaurant.

"Sit down Jennie and tell me what is going on."

"Mr. Yanni, I don't know if you want to hear what I have to say."

"Try me."

"You heard Ella right?"

"Yes.."

"Well.. Jisoo is her other mama because Jisoo and I are together." I was waiting for him to get up and start saying that what I did was wrong. That God didn't accept these kind of things and all these lovely stuff.. But yet he was still there looking at me with the same understanding and kind personality.

"So you and Jisoo are together. How long?"

"Some weeks. We just got together."

"So you are both gays."

"I am.. I guess we are.. yes. So you don't have a problem."

"I am not saying that what you are doing is wrong Jennie but I learned it with the hard way.." I saw immediately the sadness in his eyes. I couldn't understand what his words meant.

"What do you mean?"

"You know I have a daughter right?"

"Yes, I remember you talking about her once or twice. She is living here? I never saw her."

"She is not. Actually she lives in Europe with her girlfriend."

"With.. her girlfriend?"

"Yes, my daughter is gay as well.. She told us about her when she was twenty years old and we didn't take it well. I didn't take it well and I pushed her away." I couldn't believe in my ears. Mr. Yanni could never. At least the man I came to know.

"Why?"

"I couldn't accept it. I couldn't accept that my only daughter was with a woman. I had dreams for her. And when she told us.. well.. I told her to leave."

"Why you did that?"

"After fifteen years and I am still wondering why. I should have told my child I loved her no matter what. That if she was happy I was happy too.. But when I realised that, she was already gone and she didn't want to hear anything from me.." I saw him trying to hide his tears while he was telling me his story about his daughter. I couldn't really say anything. I just held his hand and I stayed silent.

"That's why when I saw you and Ella that day you reminded me of my daughter. She has the same characteristics with you.. I wanted to help you and try to redeem myself.

"Why you didn't try to contact with her?"

"I did. She didn't want to talk to me. She only talks with her mother and not very often. So all I know is that she is living in Paris with her girlfriend and they've been together for fifteen years."

"I don't know what to say Mr. Yanni. Really.."

"Don't say anything.. Tell me about you and Jisoo and your new family."

I don't know how I could tell him about me and my new family. About me and Jisoo and all the drama surrounding us. But he insisted.. So I told him how we met with Jisoo and how we came to like each other. How good she was with Ella and how she cared about us. And since I was talking about Jisoo I told him about what happened and why I was here today with my daughter. When I told him he just looked at me and threaten me to go back to my girl and make everything okay. His words were..

'You are talking about Jisoo non stop for fifteen minutes now. That's your answer Jennie. Go back to your girl and discuss what is bothering you. Staying away from the problem is not the best solution.'

I promised to come back to see them and now I had more reasons too. They needed a daughter as much as I needed two parents. And those people were like parents to me. I hugged them and kissed them because if it wasn't for them my daughter would be dead because I wouldn't have the money to buy her food. I owed them everything.

The way back home I was thinking how to start the conversation with Jisoo. What would be the right words to say. I was hurt.. I was hurt because she talked about something important not with me but with her secretary. But I was known to be very stubborn. I didn't know. Up until the moment we got inside and I saw her sitting on the couch with her legs prompt up and the tv turned off I didn't know.

When she heard the door open and close I saw her turning her head to see us. Even though she had only a light turned on I could see her eyes were puffy and that meant she was crying. Ella left my side to go and hug her and Jisoo took her in her arms like she haven't seen her for months. I from the other hand stayed where I was.. Never making a step forward although her eyes were on me.

"Mama, you weren't there today."

"I know sweetie. I am sorry."

"You were crying?"

"My eyes are just tired.. I wasn't crying baby girl."

"Okay. Will you help me with my bath mama?"

"Of course I will.. Go take your clothes off."

"Okay."

When Ella left us alone she stood from where she was sitting and looked at me. I guess she was waiting for me to say something. She didn't try to make a step forward but I didn't try to do one either.

"Jen.."

"We will talk later."

I said and walked to our bedroom. I know I was harsh. I know I might was hurting her but my mind was blurry.. All I knew is that I would talk with her. I just didn't know what I would say.