Come into the Water

chapter thirty six

I didn't realize just how exhausted I had been until I woke up feeling completely refreshed. I rolled over, recognizing instantly that I was in Aries' room just by the smell and the soft, thick pillow under my head. His bed smelled like him-the same familiar scent that I had grown to know over all the time I had spent with him.

I rolled over toward the other side, expecting to see Aries asleep. But he was wide awake. His shirt was still off, only a pair of sweats on his hips and his boxers peaking through and laid on the base of his stomach. He looked gorgeous without much provocation, like he usually did. His eyes were focused on the book in his lap, his back pressed against the headboard. He seemed calm, calmer than I had ever seen him and focused. It was almost cute.

"What are you reading?" I asked, laying my head on my arm as I simply watched him.

He turned his head to me. "Well, look who is finally awake," he mumbled, a small smirk on his lips.

I rolled my eyes, pushing myself up with one arm. "If you're gonna make a comment on how you fucked me so good that you wore me out, save it."

"Someone woke up cranky," he pouted.

I leaned closer, getting a better look at the book that he was reading. "How To Be More Emotionally Available?" I asked, trying to stifle a laugh. "Why are you reading a book on how to be more emotionally available?"

"Silas said I was emotionally unavailable. And when I asked him what the fuck that means he told me to read a book. So I'm reading a book," he told me. My lips parted in near shock. "I got him Communication Skills for Dummies. And he's actually been fucking reading it," he snorted. "You've got him whipped."

It was funny to hear him call Silas whipped for reading a self-help book when he was literally doing the same thing. I wanted to tease him and poke fun at him. But I let him have it.

But it was crazy. They were trying to learn for me. For me. Two demons were reading books written by humans to learn how to communicate and express their emotions better. I felt my heart flutter. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but I had to call it for what it was.

"What have you learned so far?" I asked curiously.

"Apparently I use humor to avoid vulnerability? Whatever the fuck that means," he scoffed. "And I get 'angry' whenever I experience an emotion I don't know how to deal with or whenever I feel cornered. I think that's a fucking lie but whatever."

I shrugged. "Maybe."

"Do you think we have too much sex?" He asked, bringing the book closer to his face and getting a better look. "Because according to this book, people sometimes use sex to avoid talking about feelings? Or to avoid feeling their feelings..." He frowned. "I think that's more you than me."

"Me?" I nearly squeaked out in shock. "You think I use sex to avoid talking about my feelings? The first thing you want to do when you're pissed off is to fuck me. Mad at me? Fuck. Mad at the world? Fuck. It's you, not me!"

"No," he shook his head. "I always want to fuck you. I don't just want to fuck you to avoid talking about my feelings. We can always talk after. I'm an incubus, Natalia. When I have the need to fuck, that's all I can concentrate on."

"And I'm a nephilim, Aries."

"You've lived your entire life on earth. I'm new here. You don't get to use that defense."

I scoffed. "I'm new here," I mocked. I threw my legs over the bed, standing up.

"You're leaving when you're upset. I guess someone else is emotionally unavailable."

I frowned. "I'm not upset. I have to pee," I scoffed. "This isn't even a real argument. Shut up."

He frowned. "Did I make you upset? I was just joking."

"I'm not upset, Aries."

"But I feel like you are," he called after me, even as I shut the door behind me.

I finished up in the bathroom quickly, but took a long relaxing shower. Once I was done, I wrapped the towel around me. I took one step out the bathroom, nearly jumping out of my skin. Silas stood right outside the bathroom door, arms folded behind his back. Before I could ask him why he was standing outside the bathroom or complain that he had scared me half to death, he beat me to it.

"Can I make you dinner tonight?" He asked.

I furrowed my eyebrows. What the fuck was going on today? Had I entered another dimension. Or, better question, did I die?

"Can you make me dinner?" I asked in confusion. Why was I so confused? It was a simple question. It's not like he asked me to marry him.

"Yes," he gave me a short nod. "I was reading something-"

"The book Aries got you on communication?" I asked knowingly, stepping out of the bathroom and shutting off the light.

"Yes," He mumbled, following behind me to my room. "I want to set up an intimate setting where we can talk freely about our...feelings."

I somehow managed not to snort. "You make it sound like a nightmare." I paused at my room door, turning to face him. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I do want to. But I don't know how to talk about what I want to without feeling like I'm talking too much."

I smiled at him. "You're doing great. You're not talking too much."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"So...Am I doing a good job at communicating right now?"

My smile grew. "Yes, Silas."

He pursed his lips. "Okay, good. So can I make you dinner tonight?"

I nodded. "Of course." I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach. "Anything in particular you wanted to talk about?"

He seemed to think a little before he answered, "No." He turned away, leaving me a little confused. "Fuck, sorry." He stopped short and turned back around. "I know walking away without saying anything else can be considered rude so...I'm walking away. I'll see you later at dinner."

He was so fucking awkward, but I couldn't help but find it adorable. I smiled a little before going into my room. I shut the door behind me, my eyes immediately going to the sunflowers in the blue vase sitting on my bedside table, just like Aries had said. I walked closer to it, admiring them up close. I let out a slow breath.

I was in deep. I was in very deep, but I wasn't apprehensive. This wasn't my first time being in love, but this was my first time in love with it feeling this way. This love was enough to make the first love not even fucking matter. Because whatever the future held for me, I didn't care. Just as long as I ended up with them in the end.