Dabihawks crack ff

hawks and dabi

"Oh no no no no no, oh god no!" Hawks looked into the mirror.

"This is bad", he thought to himself. His image showed a handsome young male, pretty face included. But there was one, just one  thing wrong.

"DABI!", he screamed.

Dabi walked slowly into the bathroom, already wearing his sweater for the L.O.V's ugly sweater competition later.

"Yes?" he asked, stretching the "e",  smirk telling Keigo that he knew exactly what happened.

"You...you...YOU!" was all the "pretty bird", as his boyfriend liked to call him, managed to get out.

"Yes, I?" Hawks could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

"My hair, you fuck-" His cursing was stopped by a hand.

"Shhh, not in front of the kids!" Dabi said and pointed to a box of eggs he carried in his arm. "What. Stop. What the heck. I'm not a chicken you idi-", again, he was stopped by a hand.

"Look, I know that these aren't my, but I will treat them just as if they were my children, yeah? I don't care who their mothers are Keigo, I'll take care of them as my own offsprings!"

"You can't even take care of yourself! Besides, you're changing the topic!"

"Ow, you noticed?"

Keigo shot him a death glare.

"Okay, okay", Dabi raised his free hand in surrender, "you got me. But, hey, pink really suits you!"

Hawks let out an unholy screech.

"Fuck you!"

Dabi gasped dramatically and accidently let go of the egg carton. Both males froze in terror as everything fell to the ground, with one single feather just barely saving them from being crashed.

"My kids!" Keigo screamed, letting his trademark speed make his mouth act before his mind could think.

"Hah, I knew it. I should've dropped them sooner! You cheated on me, Hawks!"

"What?"

Keigo looked up confused.

"Didn't you just tell me that you'd  take care of them and that you don't care about the Moms?"

"So you DID cheat on me! Besides, I took them out of the fridge!" Dabi let himself fall to the floor.

"No, I didn't."

The raven let  out a huff and rolled onto his stomach, counting the eggs in front of him .

"Marlene, Jessica, Keigo Jr., -"

"You gave them names?"

"Of course! Which good step-father wouldn't give his kids names if their real father was too lazy to do that?"

"I'm not  their father Dabi! Heck, I'm not a chicken either!"

"But you told me something else not even a minute ago! You said 'my kids!' ", Dabi scoffed.

"I was in shock! My brain short circuited!"

Now Dabi looked at his boyfriend, who stood there, his hands moving furiosly in the air, trying to defend himself from the heavy accusations. Then his gaze wandered up to Hawks' hair and he couldn't help but let out a raspy laugh.

"Oh my god, I really did it! And I got away with it!"

"So it was you! You dirty-" Hawks couldn't even finish his cursing before Dabi jumped up and ran for his life out of the bathroom. Miracously he managed to take the carton with his egg-kids. Hawks just shook his pink-haired head.

"Why does this even surprise me?" he muttered to himself. He looked into the mirror again and decided that he would just take Dabi's shampoo as punishment. How about his boyfriend used the hair-dye-shampoo.

"Actually", Hawks thought, "Dabi wouldn't look that bad with pink hair. That bastard."

Just as the thought faded, Dabi looked carefully into the room.

"If you're thinking what I think you think, no. I'm not dying my hair pink in solidarity. Besides , it's my natural hair colour."

"It's your WHAT?!", but Hawks already saw his boyfriend running out  of the bathroom and out of the apartment, leaving him with questions and pink hair.

He could've at least told him how to get rid of the dye.

Keigo huffed and decided to eat. Usually, if he thought of a plan when hungry, it would end in a disaster. He decided that scrambled eggs sounded just fine. As he walked to the fridge, he remembered that Dabi was, in fact, leaving the apartment with the eggs.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" screamed Hawks. No food meant no good ideas, so he just searched on his phone for a solution. He found something with baking soda, which he, of course, didnt have at home, so he just washed his hair until he got so tired that he literally collapsed onto his bed.

When Dabi watched TV the next day, the newest headline read: "NO.2 HERO WITH PINK HAIR?".

It took Shigaraki and Toga more than fifteen minutes to calm him down, because neither of them stopped laughing when Dabi explained the whole situation.