I Think I Love You | Randy

track 05. sorry seems to be the hardest word - elton john

"Why can't we talk it over?

Oh, it seems to me

Sorry seems to be the hardest word."

We collapsed into laughter, both of us catching each other's laughs until we were just laughing for no reason at all. We clutched each other, tears rolling down both our cheeks, all my worry long forgotten.

"Can we resolve all our fights through song in future?" Rye asked me when he'd calmed down.

"We're not fighting," I chuckled. "But it's not a bad idea."

***

The next week seemed to pass in a blur. We were still settling into university life, and I was exhausted from meeting so many new people and getting instantly buried in a mountain of classes and coursework. We were running all over campus, getting lost thousands of times despite the map I'd imprinted in my brain. Rye actually went to his football trial, which made me satisfied with my decision to sign him up, because he came home smiling after he was offered a striker position on the first eleven. Between everything else, I also had my Dear Evan Hansen audition to prepare for, and I was sure I must have driven Rye crazy with the constant practising I was doing around our small apartment, though he never complained.

My voice was a little shaky with nerves when I finally stood in front of the row of older students who were producing the show. Nevertheless, my rendition of 'Don't Do Sadness' from our last college show, Spring Awakening, seemed to go down well. I even received a round of applause, which I took as a promising sign I would at least be cast.

On the Thursday of our first week Brooklyn asked me out for coffee, making me relieved he had decided to give me a chance and also terrified because I hadn't been on a first date in years.

I said goodbye to Rye on Friday afternoon as I left for my date, making the short walk across campus to the cafe Brook had asked me to meet him at. He smiled and waved at me from a corner table, and I found my own lips stretching into a smile as I saw him because he really was pretty. It was exciting, not knowing if this was destined to be a rebound fling, a friendship, or even a fully fledged relationship, because it didn't really matter to me. It was honestly just nice to have caught the attention of someone new after spending the last year of my past relationship feeling that the only person in the world who could possibly want me was drifting further and further away.

"Andy," Brook greeted, hugging me. "You look good."

"So do you," I returned, again feeling a flush of embarrassment at the compliment, but enjoying that feeling all the same.

"You're blushing already," Brook accused, smirking. "I thought it would take more than that."

I shrugged bashfully. "Not used to compliments I guess."

"I have a hard time believing that," Brook said, staring straight at me.

"Yup, keep em coming, it's getting worse," I groaned, averting my face from his piercing gaze.

Brook grinned. "You're adorable." I hid my face in my hands, certain I looked like a beetroot at this point.

We fell into conversation relatively easily, surprising me as I'd thought there would be more tension between us considering we'd already made out. Yet, Brook seemed to be one of those people who breezed through life unfazed by most things, and there was something charming about his naive yet positive outlook on life. Probably due to my small-town background, I had never met a gay with so little angst and insecurity, and I found it somewhat hopeful that he was able to live out his life here with so much confidence and freedom.