Little Writtings

Messages Echoing In An Empty Chat

Maybe

You would message me first.

And you didn't

For a few days

Then a few days

Turned

Into

Weeks

I just felt

Alone

Because you were who I went to when I was upset and scared

But then I couldn't go to you

So I am sorry.

I am sorry I sent you five messages last night.

You didn't respond to them

At all.

You just left it hanging and changed topics.

There's other ways you could contact me if you can't type, we could skype or call or even send voice notes to each other.

Even now

It takes you several minutes to reply or even look at my messages.

Are you doing something else?

Are you busy?

I don't know

I probably will never know because you don't tell me anything anymore.

You didn't message me for days and weeks

I thought you were busy
Too busy to message me.

And I know you dislike certain things

But will you really not even try

for me?

How much do I mean to you?

If you won't even try to communicate

Am I just here for you when you want me?

I didn't think I was.

And I love you

But when you do things like that

It makes me question if you love me?

If I'm not worth even a small phone call or a simple voice message or message

What Am I Worth?

You have no idea how excited I got last year when you sent me that small voice note tell me you loved me

I cried

I listened to it every night for months

You have no idea how happy I felt when you told me you got a new phone

But how lonely I felt when you still didn't message me back

How relieved I was when you told me I was still the love of your life on Sunday.

And when we were finally having a conversation I was hopeful that things were returning to normal

But then you left

In a really important part of our conversation

So I went to bed
Hoping
That you would respond
Or even say goodnight
But you didn't

I was restless for hours hoping you would respond

But you never did

The next morning came

And I hoped you responded after I fell asleep

nothing

Then you messaged me

AND I GOT EXCITED
Because

I NEEDED to know your response

How crushed I was

That your message wasn't even related to our conversation from the night

before

You just ignored it all

Ignored my worry

About you

About us