Coming Home

Time of Decision

'The mother of my children indeed', Martin laughed as we all walked towards the front door.

Stepping into the house you could feel immediately at home. It was such a cute looking old building, nicely furnished and the air seemed to be filled with love. We walked through the big white kitchen, which had a large kitchen counter in the middle and a kids' place in the corner.

From here you could see right into the garden which was absolutely beautiful. A long grass area, surrounded by flowers, which ended in a fence protected pond.

As we entered a little winter garden, some dogs came running towards us, greeting us with curious happiness. I stroked them and especially the little black one couldn't get enough, swinging it's tail like crazy.

A rich dinner had been prepared and there were still things lying on the rotisserie outside, though it was December now and freaking cold.

We all sat down while Martin went to get the rest of the food.

'I'm so glad the kids are finally asleep. They always seem to feel when something is going on and want to be part of it.'

'Oh it's sad I'd loved to see'em again!', Ben complained and acted as if he would be sobbing, while accidentally dropping the spoon of his tea on the plate with a loud noise. I chuckled in my scarf. He was so cute when he embarrassed himself.

'Don't you dare to wake them up, or you can try and make them sleep again', Amanda laughed, knowing how much he loved children.

'Deal!'

Ben winked, reaching for the salad.

'Shouldn't Martin be in New Zealand?', Cosima suddenly asked, grabbing some bread.

'No, fortunately, I just got home for Christmas break two days ago.' Martin answered instead, joining us with some interesting looking stuff on his plate.

'Even in Middle-Earth there's time for that.'

'Wait what?', I asked, nearly dropping my glass. 'Are you in the new Hobbit movies?'

'Yeah he is – he's playing Bilbo! Didn't you know that?' Cosima seemed shocked.

'Sadly there was no one there reading the news to me when I was in coma!'

My voice was sharper than I intended and for a moment there was complete silence at the table.

'I'm sorry, I didn't want it to sound like that', I mumbled, then quickly turned to Martin.

'Oh my god that's so amazing! I loooooove The Lord of the Rings, I had no idea! This is... wow unbelievable!'

My whole body was trembling with excitement.

Everyone laughed and the atmosphere got merry again. But at the same time I heard that Ben's laugh was different. Nervous. I looked at him and he knew that I noticed. Slowly he opened his mouth.

'About that... I wanted to tell you something. Peter offered me the role of Smaug, the Dragon, I guess you all know the book. And I got it, so... the second movie is filmed at the same time as the first and that's why... I have to fly over in January.'

He looked at me a bit worried and somehow as if he felt bad. At first I didn't understand why.

'Really? That is awesome!!! Seriously how cool is that?!'

But then I slowly realized what that actually meant.

'So... for how long will you be away?'

'About two months maybe, we don't know yet. It's a pretty difficult thing that motion capture and I may need some time to get into it if you know what I mean. But I thought maybe when you finished your final exams...'

I knew what he was going to say and Cosima obviously did, too. Before he could finish the sentence she interrupted:

'That fits actually pretty well. I think now is the right time to tell him, Kira.'

'Tell me what?'

I could see the pain in his eyes and felt incredibly bad. Playing with my potatoes, I took all my courage.

'I'd really love to come with you, you know that! But... I have already decided to go with Cosima. I can study in America and she is my only friend here, I wouldn't know what to do without her. So maybe it really fits that you also have to leave for a while, then it will be easier than... in the empty house...'

I had my eyes fixed on the table so he couldn't see the tears shimmering in them. At first there was no reaction, but then he sighed. 

'Yes, maybe you're right.'

It sounded pretty depressed.

'But I'm glad you finally decided, I know that it wasn't easy for you and if it makes you happy, then I won't dare to try and stop you. My brave girl.'

I could feel that he managed a smile, but I just couldn't move my head or there would be water streaming down my face. I loved him so much, he was the kindest guy I ever met. He always tried to be nice and gracious to everyone and though I liked to bring out his 'badass'- side now and then, I really, really appreciated that.

Surprisingly everyone soon started chatting again. Cosima told Amanda about where we would go in America and Ben and Martin threw jokes at each other in which they either offended themselves or someone else. I didn't say much, but it was fun to listen. Martin really loved swearing, and seeing his cute little Hobbit face, that was even funnier.

After dinner we all moved into a big room with a fireplace and sat down on the blankets laying before it. Martin said that he loved to sit on the ground, that's why he had wooden floors as many as possible, because they weren't so cold. I wasn't sure if he was serious, but it felt homely sitting there, with the warm fire in the back and the dogs lying between us, one with it's nose on my knee.

But it also made me feel a bit sad. Watching Martin and Amanda reminded me of my parents and at that moment I wished nothing more than them being there with us, laughing and sitting on the ground in this wonderful house with this wonderful people. They would have loved it.

At moments like that I realized how much I missed them every second of my life, even if I wasn't thinking about it.

That's when I felt Cosima taking my hand under the blankets and squeezing it softly. I gave her a thankful smile. She always knew how I was feeling.