𝗠𝗬 𝗥. ✔

(backstory)

♢HITOMI♢

"stupid child proof caps!" i stutter out, trying to open the container of my pills, i wanted to hurry up, my time was running out, my nails can't open the lid, neither did my teeth, was it luckiness or unluckiness?

i was close to crying, while i was facing the mirror, but my focus was at the pills in my hands, why can't i just die? please! open up!

i was biting my lips, as my tears falls to the tiled floor of our restroom, i didn't know why was i here, why did i ended up with the pills in my hands, why was i rushing up, i didn't know.

"why can't you just open up!" i was whining like a kid, because of the frustration i felt, i didn't care if anyone was here, if anyone could hear, if i looked messed up, i just, just wanted to die!

everything, everything from me got robbed, why can't i fit in? why wouldn't i have a home? why does no one love me, why do i cut myself!?

why do i feel like shit!?

why am i depressed!?

why do i don't have any reasons to live!?

a blood fell from my bottom lip, as i got a taste of the metallic that came from my bleeding lips.

i gave up, i gave up opening the pills,

i give up from everything.

"why am i even alive!?" i yelled, not noticing anything around me, i was crying, sobbing, trembling, i look horrible, i always am.

a hand grabbed the pills from my hands, which caught me off gaurd, a girl, her hair was in a braid, she was wearing a mint cardigan, she was looking it me nonchalantly, her lips closed tightly like the container in her hand.

she then gave me a questioning look, as i tried reaching for the pills.

"what are you trying to do!? save me!?" i yelled, as i pushed her and tried to reach for the pills, she raised the pills up, looking down at me with the hard look on her face.

"what are you trying to do? sleep?" she asked back, calmly, making me stop and slide to the wall until my butt reached the tiled floor, feeling more down.

my eyes felt wet again, as it also felt sore like my throat, i, again, started to cry, wiping my face with my peach blazer, why do i feel bad for doing it?

"you should be in your class now, but you're here, trying to kill yourself." the girl stated, before putting the container of pills on her pocket, she was right, but can't i just do it? i really want to rest permanently, why did she have to stop me?

"suicide is the only answer for me," i muttered out, looking at the tiled wall, she crouched, leveling my head, she eyed me, before sighing.

"you wanted to sleep permanently?" i looked at her, before sobbing, how did she read my mind?

she stood up, before stretching her arms at me for me to hold it.

but i only glanced at her hand, before looking down again.

"let me take you to the infirmary." i didn't complied, but then, she pulled my hand harshly making me hold unto her shoulders.

we were walking at the halls, without any hallway pass, she was holding my hand, as she walked slowly, the heels of my shoes continued to clack, as i follow her to the infirmary.

we reached there, with her opening it and taking me to the nearest bed.

"stay." she commanded.

i watch her walk to the cabinet and put the pills there before locking the cabinet.

"hey that's mine!" i yelled as i tried standing up.

"it's now the school's, you can't have it." she stated and walked up to me again and pushed me softly to the bed.

at that time i didn't know what to say.