Lost and Found

02

August 25
Penn State University

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Sophia asked as we all sat down in the dining room with our dinner, which was prepared by the in-house chef.

"I was thinking we could do Sig Chi?" Alex said, earning her a glare from the rest of us. This guy that she was hooking up with almost all of last year is in the frat and she suggests it every time we go out in an effort to hopefully run into him. The rest of us were not as big a fan of the frat, all the guys were entitled assholes who were just going to college to party before going to take over their father's company. They were like a walking stereotype and I preferred going to a party at pretty much any other house.

"Okay we can go there but only if you hit up Phi Psi after, I missed my boys," Chloe said to which Sophia nodded her head in agreement. Phi Psi was the frat that our sorority partied with the most, which considering the guys are always pretty chill and fun to be around, I couldn't complain.

As the girls continued to talk about the night's plans, I zoned out, getting lost in thought about what it would be like to go to a party again. Maybe it would be good for me, get drunk and forget about everything else going on in my life, but on the other hand, I couldn't see myself getting into the hyped-up mood everyone else seemed to be in.

After we finished with dinner, we all headed back upstairs to get ready, which seems to always be quite the ordeal. I used to love the idea of getting all done up, with the makeup and hair done and all of the cute but slightly revealing outfits making me feel sexy, but now, as I try on the cropped tank top Chloe handed me, all I could see was how wide my stomach looked peaking from underneath and my arms jiggling every time I moved.

Once all four of us had our outfits picked out and did some final touches on our makeup, we headed downstairs to the basement of the house, where all of the girls in the sorority tended to congregate before a night out for a little pregame. The loud bass of the music could be heard from the stairs, but we still made sure to only open the door for a few seconds as we shuffled in, trying to keep the noise to a minimum as to not alert our house mother of what we were up to.

Once fully inside of the large tv room, I could see all of the girls talking, playing beer pong on a table that is typically meant for studying during the day, and of course taking shots. Alex immediately dragged me to the bottles of liquor, picking up the vodka and pouring it into the cups we brought down with us.

"Cheers to another year of getting fucked and getting fucked up" Alex yelled, prompting us all to click together our red solo cups and then taking back the shots.

"Well said," I joke to her causing her to just laugh back before taking another shot.

"Drink up ladies, we have a big night ahead of us."

———

1:12 AM

Only 3 minutes since I last looked at my phone. Great.

After going to Sig Chi, and subsequently losing Alex to go hook up with her guy, the three of us made our way to our second frat of the night which is where we have been for the past hour. Honestly, I was ready to head home after the first party, but I didn't want to bring down the fun of the group so I decided to stick it out, a decision I was not regretting.

I look around the room, my eyes landing on the faces of tons of girls I knew from the sorority, but none of them were the two I came with. I lost Chloe the minute we walked through the door as she ran to the game room to play pong with one of her guy friends. Sophia stuck around a little longer, but after half an hour on the dance floor she was whisked away by a guy to dance and I haven't seen her since.

I considered talking to one of the guys in the room, figuring that was a better option than standing here awkwardly alone, but I found that I couldn't make myself go up and say hi. Worries of what I would say or what they would think about me ran throughout my head, stopping me in my tracks every time.

Instead, I made an impulse decision to do the thing I had been waiting to do all night, and I walked right out the door.