Kiss Me

Hide Beside Me

We were on our way to the formal dining area, Steve and I, where Natasha and Clint had (suspiciously, alone) set the unnecessarily large table for Christmas dinner.

We had dressed formally, just as had been requested by Tony and Natasha who had worked 'so hard' to get everything ready in time, given the 'circumstances'. Basically, they were blaming me for the lack of preparation or whatever.

On our way through the many doorways made of glass and wood and metal and archways all the same, I found that, much to my delight, we were completely alone, surrounded only by complete and utter silence and darkness. There really was nothing to compare it to, either, this moment and experience.

The lights from the city that surrounded us through the lengthy glass windows seemed to cast a blue-ish color across Steve's golden hair and beautiful face. I let the sounds of the bustling people at the streets that usually flooded in at all directions, drown away into complete nothingness for once. I allowed the sounds of silence envelope us and the scent of the freshly cooked dinner dance circles around our heads. This is what true peace is supposed to feel like, is it not?

And the way he looked at me like I was a work of art made me wonder whether or not that was something someone of my sort even deserved. I mean, looking back on all the terrible things I've done, I don't deserve any of this, do I?

God, I've gone and done it again, haven't I? Rambling on and on about how worthless I think I am when I've got someone who thinks nothing but the complete opposite of me. I mean, back when I remembered nothing, there was one thing (and one thing only) that he'd say that would keep me going... that would keep my hopes up.

You're a good person. You deserve a good life.

While I didn't see any truth in it then, I certainly believe it now. At least significantly more than I did before. I mean, I must've been a good person for someone like him to have loved me all this time, right?

I looked him up and down in the blue moonlight simply thinking of everything we'd been through together. I wondered what it was, exactly, in this moment in particular, actually, that made me stop in my tracks. Usually mid-action, such as walking or talking or thinking, I wouldn't get distracted or, in this case, stop unless there was something really important bothering me or unless there was something I needed to say or talk about before I forgot.

And, despite what I say I usually do, look what I've gone and done anyway.

"Everything alright, Buck?" he asked me, sincerely, watching as I became easily derailed from the task at hand.

"Yea, yea," I started. "There was just something I wanted to say or, maybe, something I was trying to tell you but I think I- well, I must've forgo-" and that's when I remembered.

"Huh?" He continued.

"Look," I said quietly, glancing above us at the mistletoe that had been hanging in the archway above us. "Mistletoe."

God, this reminds me (yet again) of our first Christmas... the same one we had discussed the other day. I knew it reminded him of all the same moments and feelings, too, just because of the look on his face.

I saw his cheeks tug at his lips as he smirked innocently at me. I wondered if he ever really knew what that Goddamn look made me want to do to him... if he'd let me.

I looked around us one last time to be sure that no one else had been around us heading towards the dining room and, luckily, there wasn't a soul to be seen.

I smiled at him as I took his jaw in my palms and brought his lips close to mine, breathing gently yet hotly onto him before delicately placing a soft kiss on his lips. If only we could stay like this forever.

After a moment, he pulled away and looked at me with this sort of glint in his eyes that I didn't recognize. "C'mon, we should get in there. They're probably waiting for us," he told me.

I nodded in agreement as we continued through the archways.

They had waited to start because we were late. How thoughtful of them, really.

- - -

Dinner had come to a close and it was incredible, to say the least. I mean, I always love mashed potatoes and the fish was amazing and, as someone who doesn't normally like vegetables, I was pleasantly surprised by them.

All in all, I'm glad I was here to participate in such a wonderful night.

We got back to out room and I locked the door behind me, making Steve look at me like he was trying to decode the enigma that was what, exactly, I had been up to.

I figured that if he wanted to keep us a secret from everyone, we might as well do it together, right? If he was going to keep everything that we had become between us then I was glad that, at least, we could be normal around one another.

Basically, if he was gonna hide, I was glad he chose to hide beside me.

I watched as his silhouette removed the Christmas tie from his neck in the darkness (as neither of us bothered to turn the lights on when we walked in). I didn't take my eyes off him as he undid the buttons on his shirt painstakingly slowly. I walked over to him and began to help him by undoing his belt and pants zipper/button combination. I slid them down to his ankles as I approached a position where I was on my knees before him.

I heard him exhale as I dragged my cold metal fingers up his inner thigh as I stood up again. His hands met my neck and started traveling throughout my hair as I massaged along his chest and ass and thighs, all while our lips remained ever so close together - yet so incredibly far apart.

We started working together to take off my shirt and tie and pants but, by the time I had removed all my clothing, he was already starting to seem almost sluggish. I could see the little flame in his eyes start to dwindle as he started to grow tired.

I quickly grabbed his face and kissed him fleetingly just before I turned around and headed over to my own bed. "Goodnight, Steve," I said.

"Night, Buck."

~ James_BuchananBarnes ~