Demons are Hot (bxb)

Chapter Seven

Theo's POV

On the drive to the grocery store, I saw a creature out the window that brightened my day. "Cyrus, look!" I burst out. "It is my Abiah."

Cyrus sighed and looked at me like I made no sense. "The horse? In the field? Is what?"

"That creature looks like my loyal hellhound, Abiah!" I was practically bouncing in my seat. "I am going to see her."

I opened the door and jumped out. I landed on the asphalt easily.

Cyrus' car swerved, the door still open, and he pulled to the side of the road and stopped so fast his car made squealing noises.

I walked to the fence. The horse, as Cyrus called it, was eating some grass. Odd. Hellhounds looked similar, except with black manes and flaming tails, but they ate only dead carcasses. I whistled to the hellhound.

"I HATE YOU," Cyrus screamed, running down the road. "YOU CAN'T JUMP OUT OF MOVING VEHICLES. GET BACK INTO THE CAR NOW AND STAY THERE."

My human was so whiney. I let him tug me back to the car and we drove the rest of the way in silence.

I allowed Cyrus to pull me into the grocery store, completely fascinated by the people around me. They were all busy going about their day.

"I still hate you," he kept muttering.

I was not concerned with Cyrus. I was concerned with the behavior of the other humans. I had expected at least five bows, maybe one human sacrifice. These humans were, quite frankly, rude.

Now I could see why my father had been so upset when grandpa made them.

I grabbed a young woman by her arm and stared into her blue eyes. "Do you understand that I am going to rule this pathetic realm and crush the innocent souls of humans with my teeth?"

Her eyes widened.

"It would be wise to sacrifice your eldest born to me," I suggested carefully.

Cyrus grabbed my arm and laughed uncomfortably. "Haha! Come along now, Theo, I think you might've taken a tad too much of that cough medicine!"

I did not understand why Cyrus continually rebuffed my attempts to gain human subjugates.

"Okay, so here's the plan: We buy a ton of canned foods and donate them to a local food drive," Cyrus explained. I rolled my eyes. "It's going to work! Over time, humans will begin to notice your good deeds and associate you with safety. That way, when it comes time to burn the world to the ground in eternal hellfire or whatever, people will rejoice."

"I'm not as dumb as you think me, human," I grumbled.

"I love when you call me human with that sweet tone of condescension. It's one of the greatest aspects of your personality."

I glared at my human guide, irritated by his comments. Cyrus managed to suppress his urge to worship me better than most humans. I was not sure how. As far as I was concerned, I was a lovely candidate for world dictator.

Cyrus and his friends, I should edit. Cyrus kept getting annoying little texts like, how's satan boy? And, worse, are you still with the human flamethrower?

Why would they call me human? Just because I shared a smilier form did not make me a member of the weaker species.

"I'll go along with this ridiculous plan only because I owe you," I gave in. "Because of the TJ Maxx thing."

Cyrus nodded, black hair flopping with the movement. "I'll take it. Okay, c'mon. Let's get some peas."

We spent a good amount of time grabbing cans of food, and then Cyrus made a scene when I tried to walk out of the store with them.