Demons are Hot (bxb)

Chapter Five

Theo's POV

I was instructed by my human guide to remain in his room while he fetched me sustenance. To amuse myself, I dug around in his personal belongings.

I found a magazine with rather raunchy pictures of human men, an unopened box of condoms, and twenty United States dollars.

Cyrus came back with two plates of food and paused when he saw me. "What are you doing?!"

I put the condoms back into his drawer and batted my eyelashes, trying to convey innocence. "Nothing."

Cyrus put our food on the bed and snatched the magazine back. His face was a bright, attractive red. It struck me suddenly how handsome he really was for a human; those brown alluring eyes ever soul-searching and his cheekbones high. His hair begged me to run my fingers through it.

I had never touched a human before. And Cyrus, judging from the contents of his drawers, had clearly never touched anyone. Maybe this could happen.

Just as I was about to lean in, Cyrus snatched another one of his damned pillows and hit me across the face. "Stupid demon!" he snapped. "Get away from my shit."

I groaned and batted his pillow attack away. "You are irritating," I decided, wondering what psychopathic desire made me want to kiss him. "Give me food now, human."

Cyrus pointed to the bed.

I looked at the plate and smiled, which seemed to completely shock Cyrus. "It's steak! This brings back childhood memories of training Abiah to pee on my father's generals. I would also light myself on fire at random, when I was close enough to set their clothes aflame."

Cyrus blinked, wide-eyed. "Uh. Why? Were you like a behavioral kid or something?"

"They took my father's attention," I admitted easily. I knew I needed attention and was willing to admit it. Why else would I be blindly running to the humans? When father noticed my absence he would have a heart attack, if he had a heart.

Cyrus' eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute...how old are you anyway?"

I didn't mind the question. "Twenty-five years old. I am very young for a demon. Most of us live for thousands of years. Well, I suppose I will eventually. And yourself?"

"Eighteen."

Which was not so young in human years. I nodded as a thought occurred to me. I wondered if it would be rude to abruptly change the topic.

"Because we are alone in your bedroom, may I now take off my clothes?"

"What?!" Cyrus sputtered and busied himself with his steak to avoid my eyes. "Why would you say that?"

"Because," I explained, "I am no longer under the watchful eye of human law enforcement. Therefore, I should be able to cease silly human customs."

Cyrus looked at me with those big brown eyes like he was pleading with me. "But if my mom walks in, she'll think we're doing sexual stuff."

It was ridiculous to me that anyone would think Cyrus was doing sexual stuff. His unopened condom box expired two years ago.

"That's quite fine by me," I decided, avoiding telling Cyrus that he was the loudest virgin I had ever met in my entire life. "I have walked in on my father with plenty of his consorts."

Cyrus sputtered. "Dude! Where is the correlation? I did not need to know that information. I wish I didn't."

Sighing, I decided that Cyrus was firm on his insistence that I wear clothes. I was probably off-base about us ever being sexual partners. I would have to sample a different human. "Fine. Don't tell me you wear them to bed too?"

Cyrus' look was almost wicked. Maybe he was a hell demon too.

"Okay, here's the plan for the rest of the evening!" Cyrus said, as if he could ever possibly boss me around. "We're going to get into comfy pajamas and eat dinner, all while I introduce you to earthy pop culture. Starting with the show Supernatural. I think you're really going to get a kick out of it."

I scowled. "I do not enjoy human media that portrays myself or my father."

"You're not nearly as famous as your father."

"I am the antichrist!"

"Don't care. As far as I knew, the antichrist wasn't a baby demon," Cyrus said with a teasing lilt to his tone and an affectionate nudge to my shoulder.

I scowled at his blankets. "I am not a baby demon."

...Technically I was a baby demon. But Cyrus did not know that.

"Aw...is the baby demon pouting?"

A knock at Cyrus' door saved his life, because I was fully prepared to decapitate my human guide and drink his innocent blood. I glared at his sister, who walked in.

His sister, much like his mother, looked nearly exactly like Cyrus. They all had the same soft tumble of black hair, though the females wore theirs much longer. They had the same deep brown eyes, sharp with intelligence. Cyrus' sister's face was sculpted from delicate bones and her shoulders were set in a determined line.

The only difference was that Cyrus was a little taller, a little less delicate, and far more attractive.

"I want to know his deal," she snapped. "Why was he talking about ruling the world earlier? Also Mom wants to know what was up with the whole blood of the innocent thing."

"Nina," Cyrus groaned. "He plays a lot of video games."

I recalled one of the games set up at Blue's house, and I was happy to assist Cyrus. "Yes," I agreed. "I am very good at Mario Kart."

Cyrus winced and Nina stared at me. I was beginning to think that that was, perhaps, not the correct video game to mention.

"You're weird," Nina said, studying me with a judgmental attitude. I did not realize that humans would be so very good at resisting hero worship. "Sexy, but totally weird."

"Nina!"

"It's quite alright, Cyrus," I waved his worries away. "I am aware of how attractive I am."

"Cute," Nina snorted.

We were left in an awkward staring competition. After a few moments of silence, Nina groaned and rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she snapped. "If this is seriously the kind of boyfriend you're going to sneak into the house, fine. Weird choice, but fine. Don't bang each other too loud, I'm right across the hall."

Nina stalked out and I was left staring after her, confused. "Do you desire sexual relations with me?" I asked Cyrus. "Is that what she was saying?"

Cyrus groaned and hid his face in his hands. "No. C'mon, we're watching TV. I'm going to make you a nice little bed on the ground for you to sleep tonight, okay?"

"Very kind of you, human guide," I noted. "When I burn this world to the ground, killing all that is living, and collect souls to populate my new realm, I will remember your sacrifices and reward you dearly."

"Oh, goodie."