Violent World (Villain Deku)

53-Afterwards and Forwards

For a long while, after I had gotten back, there was nothing but chaos in my head. That's the only way to describe it.

I felt that I couldn't justify it anymore, the pain and longing in Hitoshi's tone was so foreign and out of place, I couldn't think of how it had ever gotten there. And what's worse is that it's my fault, but he's not blaming me, he's blaming himself. He told me that he had failed to 'bring me back' when he thought he could.

Was this just something I should put behind me? It wasn't right. I couldn't think. I can't go back though, I've gone too far. I don't even want to go back there, either, I just want the relationships that I had to come back.

It was all gone now, though.

I've built a chasm between me and everyone else. And for what? I've hurt Shouto. And Hitoshi. Probably my father too. I can't bring myself to feel ashamed of my actions though, only the effect it had on everyone's lives. What is wrong with me? I'm fucking ecstatic that All Might is gone because Ayuka's finally been avenged. Without Endeavor, too, Shouto's not so pressured to be number one and he can follow his dreams.

So was there really any harm done? Hitoshi can get better and forget about me, and after that night, I think it might be for the best that he didn't join me. After all, it hasn't exactly been sunshine and rainbows for me since I ran away from home.

It has been about a week since the Sports festival, now, and I haven't left my room except for food and to use the restroom once and a while.

It was simply a matter of rethinking things.

And now, after my long break, I'm sitting at the couches in the bar. Dabi went out with some other people and Toga hasn't even shown up around here in a while, thankfully.

Shigaraki grumbled where he sat, holding a news paper in front of his face. I glanced up from my phone to see his pout, and honestly couldn't care much. The two of us haven't really gotten along well since the USJ, him always nagging me to stay at the bar and I, of course, not listening to that crap.

A few more annoyed hums and groans from the guy though and I was ready to burst. I dropped my phone onto the couch cushion where I sat and snapped over the couch at him, "what is it, Shigaraki?!"

He slammed the thin paper onto the bar countertop. "This damned idiot in the paper, thinking he's more relevent than us or somethin'!," he shouted imediately, as if he were waiting for someone to ask what was up.

"So..?," I questioned, wondering how much it mattered. "We haven't really done anything notable in a while, now have we."

"Hmm," he thought. "No, you're right.. brat."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, well, what're you gonna do?" I easily regretted asking this, seeing him think seriously on the matter, I just shook my head, however, and turned my attention back to my phone.

"We've got a point to prove, don't we," it was more of a statement than a question. "I'm gonna call the boss.."

"Boss?," I ask, I had just been assuming that Shigaraki was in charge of everything, no-one had ever mentioned a boss. Though, thinking it over, it did make sense, Shigaraki was far too emotional to keep a league of villains together all on his own.

He nodded, searching for his phone in his pockets. "All for One. He was kind of pissed that he wasn't the one to end All Might, but he says the fact that he's dead is all that really matters," he explained, mumbling until he pulled his phone out.

I hummed, turning back to my own phone. All for One, huh, I contemplated as I scrolled mindlessly through social media.

When Shigaraki started speaking on the phone, he got off of the barstool and wandered into a back room for more privacy, leaving me alone.

At this point, being alone was something I had wanted this past week, but right now, even if it was Shigaraki in my company, I would take it. Anything would be better than sitting alone, questioning what was right or wrong for me and everyone else.

Why did I have to go see him again? It had made sense in the moment, I just wanted to save Hitoshi, but now? I think I just hurt him more. I know I did. 

As I thought about never seeing any of them again, it nearly broke me. Does anyone even realize how much I've lost? I'm just barely sixteen and yet I've already lost so much of my family, I've cut off my father and I'm losing anyone I've gotten close with.

Shigaraki walked back into the room as he ended the phone call, tossing the device onto the bar. He sat in a chair opposite of me, "he's gonna let us have three nomu's to use freely, cause panic, whatever."

I looked up at him, "wait- three? There's more than just the one at the USJ?"

At that, he scoffed, "Yeah, idiot. The boss's plan is bigger than just leading our ragtag group of losers. 'Course there's more of 'em."

"Oh," I sighed, glancing away. Its not my fault I didn't even know about the 'boss' until ten minutes ago.

"By the way," he said, his tone shifting. "He's interested in meeting you, when he gets the chance."

My breath caught in my throat. "Um- me? Why me?"

"Do you really have to ask. You've done better than any of us ever have since this whole group was pulled together, as much as I hate to admit it. You've taken down the top two heroes, both in less than what? A moth? Two? It's impressive, even if I hate you."

I never even thought about how 'impressive' it was, I was just doing what had to be done. They deserved to pay, that was the only thing on my mind when I was against All Might and Endeavor. What difference is it that they were the best of the best?

"Whatever," I mumbled as I thought it over. "All Might's only gone because we had a good plan and wore him out."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure, but," he sighed, surely not happy with complimenting me so much. "You get on my last nerve, but it was thanks to you that he was so wore out anyway. The Nomu was fighting him and all but he wasn't wavering until you were using your quirk."

I shrugged, letting the subject drop completely and sighed.

"So, I'll tell you what the plan is when we actually know what it is," he said, getting up and going wherever.

(Yayy I'm so happy to be writing something other than the sports festival lmao and sorry its kind of a filler/bridge chapter)