Who Am I Without Him? (Laurmani)

twelve.

A/N this chapter is continued on right from the last chapter.

OMNISCIENT POV

Lauren didn't see Normani and wouldn't for several more minutes, her absence would cause the green-eyed girl to worry and that only made her wonder why she  was worried. By the questions in the Goth's head were multiplying like rabbits.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Normani again reappeared on the floor. A tray of drinks in hand and Normani looked a lot more confident than she did the last time Lauren had seen her. A huge sense of relief came to Lauren as the Texan was once again in view. As Lauren watched the older girl, she quickly noticed a bit of an extra spring in her step and her smile seemed a bit more genuine. It only made the girl's focus on Normani that much more intense.

Once Lauren laid eyes on the girl, she literally couldn't look away. It also made her wonder just why she attracted to her at all. Well,  at the moment she was showing a lot of skin and naturally that alone got her thinking a lot of things; new things; sexual things. She'd wiggle her butt from time to time and now that Lauren was aware of her feelings (and more open to admitting them), she found it pleasing.

She felt it. She really felt it, an attraction to Normani. It was new and wonderful and scary all at the same time. Beyond the physical, was it her kindness, her goofy sense of humor, what? Lauren simply didn't know.

For a half an hour she covertly watched her, trying vainly to make some sense of all the questions and feelings that were pulsing through her. There was so much  to digest and come to terms with, not to mention a thousand new questions, Lauren barely knew where to start. But the answers weren't coming, which only angered and frustrated her. Lauren was so engrossed in her thoughts of Normani, that she nearly jumped out of her skin when Halsey tapped her on the shoulder.

"Fuck! You scared me half to death," Lauren hissed with an accompanying, angry glare as she clutched her chest.

Halsey giggled in return which only furthered Lauren's frustration, "Looks like someone's getting a bit tense. Relax girl, all those negative waves;  you're totally killing the vibe here."

"I can't figure it out. Why am I here? Why do I like Mani of all the girls that I know? How am I gay? She hates me-" Lauren started to rant out of frustration. Before she could continue, Halsey put her hand over the younger girl's mouth.

"Girl, stop. You're trying to figure it out all at once. Don't even try, 'cause you're not going to succeed and the only thing you'll wind up with is a massive headache. These things take time, it did for me and  it will for you. I'm beginning to regret throwing you back for baby girl's  sake."

Only then did Halsey remove her hand from off of Lauren's mouth, allowing her to speak.

"Why?"

"Because  I have half a mind to take you in the bathroom and give you the fucking  of your life, maybe then you'll be able to relax and don't bother to  think you'd be able to resist me, you wouldn't."

The strange thing  about that statement, is that Lauren was fairly certain, that that is  precisely what Halsey would have done if she was able to.

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?" An exasperated Lauren asked.

Halsey looked up at the ceiling for a moment, placing a slender finger on her chin, "Hmm- you're in a bar that has a lot of naked women and scantily clad waitresses( including the one you have feelings for). Why don't you do  what everyone else here is doing and get drunk and enjoy  the show?"

"Huh?"

"You like watching Normani, right? Can you at least answer that?"

"Of course, you know that. I mean not even 5 minutes ago, you caught me staring at her-" Lauren sputtered and rolled her eyes sarcastically.