Who Am I Without Him? (Laurmani)

six.

OMNISCIENT POV

The next morning when Lauren woke up, she felt like complete shit. Her face and body still hurt from tripping over that curb the previous day. Besides the physical pain, she hurt mentally as well. She was still confused about why Normani had told her to stay after she had tried so hard to ignore her and although the older girl had given her a good reason to stay, she still felt like there was more to it. She didn't know if the older girl wanted her to stay to help or if she just wanted to fuck with her head and make her miserable as revenge. She couldn't help thinking it was the latter.

The more the Latina thought of everything that had gone on in the past 4-nearly-5 years, the more depressed she became. And besides that, she wanted to go back to Jake more than anything, she missed his face, his voice. Then she'd think of the beatings she had received and the co-dependent part of her would immediately counter them with the good times they'd had. It was like her memories were playing a game of tug and war and as soon as one would start to win, the other would come back harder each time.

"How the fuck do I even function?" Lauren muttered, sitting in the La-Z-Boy and staring blankly out the window. She ran her hands through her hair a few times and sighed.

The only response she got was the sound of Normani eating breakfast in the 'dining area' which was actually just extra space between the kitchen and the living room. Normani's cold attitude and the constant frown the girl wore, was increasingly getting to the younger girl. And to think at one point the older girl's perfect smile had annoyed her to no end, now her frown was what she hated most in the world. She just wanted to see her best friend's smile again.

"Just smile for fucking once," Lauren whispered to herself as she walked off to the bathroom to get ready for work. When she came out, the apartment was empty like it always was when Normani went to work, but to Lauren, the apartment was empty even when the girl was there.

Normally, she'd eat and have a cup of coffee or two then head to work but today no coffee was in the pot and Lauren didn't feel like eating. With nothing else for her to do, the green-eyed girl left to work and tried to push everything out of her mind. Coming home, she cleaned the kitchen as she was supposed to once every week.

She finished in less than an hour, so she grabbed the vacuum out the closet and proceeded to clean the living room. The work had cleared her mind just as she had hoped. After she finished vacuuming, she looked at Normani's unattended, dust-covered guitar and keyboard.

"I can't ask her about it, but how would she feel if I cleaned them for her?" Lauren thought to herself. She shrugged and did just that, cleaning away every speck of dust until both items shined like they were brand new when she finished, she placed everything back where she had found them.

Now exhausted, Lauren ordered some beef and broccoli and spring rolls and sat down to watch tv. Tonight Normani worked her second job as well so she didn't come home until around 1 in the morning and went to sleep less than 10 minutes later. While the older girl was gone, Lauren thought of repacking her items and making a run for it. She had saved up just enough money for a plane ticket to Texas, but she decided against it when she realized that she hadn't talked to her parents in 3 years. The only way they knew the girl was still alive was because Ally visited them every once in a while.

The next day at around noon, Lauren noticed Normani walking out her room. Lauren was watching a marathon of Looney Tunes when Normani had walked past the younger girl wordlessly. She could hear the girl rummaging around in the fridge.

"It's some leftover spring rolls and beef and broccoli if you want any," Lauren called out."

"No thank you," Normani said softly. When she came back out, she had a glass of apple juice.