The Coldest Summer✓

Forty-four

What's his deal?

Despite everything, he's still a threat to me. With utmost discretion I manage to dial Liam's number and place the phone on the sofa. I inhale softly, hoping he will pick my call on time instead of returning it later.

I just want him to understand what's happening right now.

A nerve-wracking silence fills the room, both Jeremy and I staring at one another. My breath hitches more violently, my brain busy trying to decipher his next move and whatever's on his mind. I have to throw him out but I can't be aggressive, or else he'll find a reason to attack.

I've been here before so I'll handle him the way I see fit. He's a maniac!

"Why not me?" he asks suddenly, his tone of voice calmer than ever before.

"What?" I squint my eyes, confused.

He moves closer and I take a step back, but my eyes don't leave his for even a heartbeat.

"I liked you a lot, Kira. I still do. I tried everything to have you but why didn't you give me the chance? And yet you accepted the guy you've just met in what . . . a week?" He moves again, his gaze distasteful at his last remark.

"Stay right there!" I yell. Automatically he stops in his tracks, eyes shocked. "You move one step closer, I'm gonna scream and have you arrested in no time."

He sighs softly, and for some reason I feel like he's not implying any violence by coming here today as he slowly takes a few steps back. What's happening to him? Did he really come here to talk to me? To have me listen? No, I shouldn't trust him!

He's a crazy rapist, Kira!

"So, tell me, what is it he has that I don't have? Does he fuck you well more than I would?" Jeremy continues, and that is enough to make me lose any sort of consideration I was about to give him in a fleeting moment.

I huff an incredulous laugh. And yes, he does fuck me so damn well.

"What does he give you, huh? I'll give you twice, Kira," he asks desperately, his eyes filled with something overwhelming.

"Do you actually think I give a damn of what you have or don't have, Jeremy?" I ask him, irritated. "I just want—"

"Is it because he is older and rich? I am rich, too, Kira. I can give you everything you want, I swear." Jeremy interrupts, and I really don't understand how his head works at this point.

I think he's so sick in the head.

"You're seriously asking why not you? Really, Jeremy? After everything you did to me?" I'm perplexed at the memory of our most unpleasant encounter back then.

Jeremy takes a deep breath while changing his stance. He holds his waist, looking at ease. "I just needed the chance," he says coolly.

"And since you couldn't get it, you decided to grab it forcefully, right?" I snap.

"Kira, I did what I did because I loved you," Jeremy states in a small, pained voice. "But you kept pushing me away like a nobody! Do you know how it feels like when someone you see in your head and dreams every single day refuses to even want to see your fucking face? Do you have any idea how painful it is knowing she's the only one who can make you feel alive and yet she wants nothing to do with you?" His eyes are bathed in angry tears, his voice painful.

"And so it's my fault now?" I sprint closer to him and halt. "You tried to rape me, you bastard! No, you did it, and you were going to hurt me brutally if I didn't stop you that night! You destroyed my dignity, Jeremy, and you had me confined in that nightmare two years!" Tears of anger and repressed pain spill down from the memory, and it makes me want to stab him repeatedly on his chest. "And you're here singing that you loved me? Fuck, you can't love anyone! You're selfish and heartless!"