Second Chances

Revelation

"Noah," I sighed and closed my eyes to take a steadying breath. "I get that you are sorry, okay? But you have a girlfriend, and there is no need for us to be friends. You're only here for a little while before you go back home. Let's just call it a day and you can go back to your life, and I can go back to mine."

"Damit, Em," Noah hissed and a flash of emotions crossed his face. "I just don't want to let it the fuck go. Okay. I want to make it right."

"You can't."

"You aren't even giving me a chance?" he asked, his voice getting louder.

"You don't deserve a fucking chance. Just leave."

"Come on Em." He was back to pleading. "That's not fair. You don't have all the facts."

"Fair," I shrieked. "You want to talk about fucking fair...."

"Shhh," Ava hissed.

"Yeah, I do," Noah responded, completely ignoring Ava's warning and my tone, and got to his feet.

"Great." I leaned across the counter and got into Noah's face. "Let me tell you about fair. It took me months to get to the point where I could even get myself dressed in the morning after what you did. Think that's fair?"

His eyes widened, but he didn't say anything.

I nodded my head like a crazy person and continued. "Do you have any idea how many times my dad or brother let me cry on their shoulders, or consoled me when I was too distraught to go to class? How many times they had to take me to the doctor or for therapy because I kept having breakdowns and panic attacks?"

Noah visually swallowed.

I grabbed onto the countertop and stared him down. "Do you have any idea how depressed I was because of what you did? I even fucking tried to kill myself."

Noah gasped, and there was genuine alarm on his face. I even shocked myself. I'd never told anyone about that before. At all.

The only one who knew was my dad, because he was there to experience it. The Emergency Room doctors and therapists knew, of course, but that was it. My brother didn't even know.

Ava gasped and a couple of the customers were blatantly staring at me, but I was too busy having a stare-off with Noah to care.

The door from the office swung open behind us and Andrew stomped in. "What the hell are you doing, Emelie?" He hissed. "I can hear you yelling from my office."

I just stared at him while the tears started to fill my eyes and threatened to spill over at any second. I could feel it starting. The depression. The worry. The inevitable downward spiral. I threw the towel down on the counter and got ready to walk away. "I can't do this anymore today, Andrew. I am sorry." I turned and walked into the back room without another glance at Noah and let the door close behind me. If this was how I got fired so be it.

"What the hell was that about?" I heard Andrew ask Noah before the door swung shut behind me. I didn't hear Noah's response, and I didn't care.

I broke down into full-out sobs in the break room, clutching my jacket like some sort of safety blanket.

Why was he here?

What the hell did he want from me?

It was so hard to see him and to think about everything we'd been to each other, and what he had done to ruin it.

I'd expected that it would feel great to rip into him the way I did, but it didn't. It just made me feel bad and shameful. I was better than that.

Yeah, he hurt me. He hurt me more than anyone else ever had, but I'd also loved him more than anybody else.